


Corpse Husband Oneshots

by oursaviorkellinquinn



Category: Corpse Husband - Fandom
Genre: Agoraphobia, Among Us, Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Fluff, OC, Panic Attacks, Self Harm, Triggers, YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:48:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 31,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29757084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oursaviorkellinquinn/pseuds/oursaviorkellinquinn
Summary: A bunch of non-smutty Corpsy oneshots :)
Relationships: Corpse Husband/OC
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Fibro Fog

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none  
AN: I don't have Fibromyalgia or know anyone with it, so I did my best to research the disorder. I'm sorry if I didn't get it perfect. Also plz vote and comment! I love talking to you guys!  
~Corpse pov~  
My eyes are tired and my hands are cramped, but I've only been live streaming for forty minutes and I know I should keep going. 

"Okay, let's see if Jack can bring someone in for the next round," I suggest, sitting back in my chair as everyone else chatters about finding new players.

When I relax I realize that the muscles in my back and arms are extremely painful tonight. I gently massage my shoulder and try to ease the pain. Right as I grimace at the heat radiating under my fingertips I hear the door to my gaming room open up.

"Corpse? Are you okay?" My roommate, Sykkuno, asks.

I just nod and give him a small smile.

"Are you sure? If your muscles hurt you should rest."

I mute my mic on the game before answering so that none of the other players can hear.

"I don't need to rest, I need to livestream or else everyone's gonna be disappointed. I'm fine, I can do it for a couple more hours."

"A couple more hours? Let me see your shoulder."

"What? No, you're not my mom, get out," I snap.

His face instantly falls and he nods once before quickly leaving.

Fuck.

I unmute my mic and see that we're still waiting for enough people to start another round.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna leave," I say, causing everyone to groan.

"We can't even find one more player, much less two! You gotta stay!" Toast whines.

"Yeah, and no one is as good of an imposter as you," Poki adds.

"Sorry, I'll be around tomorrow."

Everyone begrudgingly says their goodbyes and I log off, shutting down my computer. I cringe as I stand, all of my muscles feeling tight from the lack of movement. I think I'm gonna be thanking Sykkuno more than I realized for suggesting I stop.

I leave the room and swing the door shut behind me, a small thing that I obsess over for fear of an unexpected visitor seeing my filming room.

"Thomas?" I say, searching the apartment for the dark haired boy.

I look into his bedroom and find it empty, so I go down the hall to the living room. He's on the couch, watching The Great British Baking Show. I don't know why I expected to find him crying or upset in some way, he's definitely used to my moods by now.

"Hey," I murmur as I lower myself to sit by him on the couch.

He glances at me and smiles a little. This boy is a saint.

"I'm sorry I was such an asshole."

"It's okay, I get it. I didn't mean to be pushy."

"You weren't, I'm just disappointed in myself and irritated. You know how my bad days are."

He nods again, seeming to be thinking about something. I turn my attention to the show for a minute before he speaks.

"Can I look at your shoulder now?"

"Yeah," I mumble, sitting up and grabbing the neck of my shirt and pulling the fabric off of my body in one swift movement.

He scoots towards me and inspects the area.

"It's red and really swollen, have you taken anything for it? Is anywhere else feeling really bad?"

I try to remember if I took some painkillers when I first woke up but I can't quite remember. One part of me kinda thinks I did and I don't want to take too many on accident, but another part of me can't quite grasp the details of my morning. My foggy brain from fibromyalgia is to blame for that.

"Um, I-I don't know. I don't know if I took anything. And no, my shoulder is the worst."

"I'll be right back, just stay here."

He quickly gets up and disappears down the hallway. He's probably going to count my medication to decide if I took any today. 

I subconsciously knead my fingertips into my shoulder blade, pressing on the most painful spot. Flair ups are the most god damn annoying things that ever happen to me. One day I can feel pretty good, stream for hours, sleep decently, and the next day it all goes to shit for no reason.

I hear Thomas in the kitchen before he shows up beside me again. He hands me a glass of water and two pills. So I didn't take them earlier I guess? That explains why I feel so bad now.

"Thanks," I say before throwing back the white capsules.

"No problem, I brought you an ice pack too."

I grin and take it from him. Since it's directly out of the freezer the gel is too cold to lay on my bare skin, but my roommate thought ahead and wrapped it in a dish towel for me.

"You're the best," I sigh as I lay it on my irritated muscles.

"I'm really not. You know that it's okay to take care of yourself, right? Your fans will understand if you need to take a break."

I can't look at him, knowing that my eyes will fill with tears if I see his earnest face.

"I-um," I clear my throat, trying to push the lump down. "I know. I just hate feeling weak."

"Corpsy, you're the strongest person I know. You've been battling this disorder and others for so long and making a name for yourself at the same time. I actually don't know how you do it."

I feel a little warmth bloom in my cheeks and tears fill my eyes. I look at my friend and smile when I see his expression soften.

"Thank you, that means everything to me. I couldn't have made it this far without you."

He smiles and it lights up his whole face.

"You could have if you took care of yourself," he says teasingly.

I roll my eyes.

"Just promise me that if you need to rest you're going to? Get up from your computer and stretch every once in awhile so that you know if you're having any swelling."

"Fine, fine. I'll be more careful," I promise.

"That's all I ask. If you're more careful then more than likely you'll have less bad days."

"That's wishful thinking," I snort.

"Shut up, you big baby."

I laugh and wipe the tears from my eyelashes. God, I hate crying.

"Can I finish this episode now? Are you comfortable?" 

"Go ahead, I'm good," I assure him.

He presses play and Paul Hollywood resumes being an asshole. 

I look over at my friend as he absentmindedly chews on his thumbnail and I make a mental note to never let him go.

1110 words :)


	2. Emily

TRIGGER WARNINGS: depression, suicidal thoughts.  
AN: Plz vote and comment~  
~Corpse pov~  
I didn't get any sleep last night, but that's not unusual for me. Sometimes it's insomnia, sometimes it's pain from one of my conditions, but last night it was just depression. I felt so tired when I got in bed but I couldn't make my stupid brain shut off. I think I might of dozed off a couple of times but I definitely didn't get more than an hour of rest.

Why am I so fucked up? I can't even sleep right! God, why am I even fucking around with living anymore? 

"Meowww," I hear from the end of my bed.

"Emily?" I grumble.

I sit up slightly and see my little black cat curled up on my feet. She slowly gets up and stretches before she comes up to my face.

"Hey little girl, how're you?" I ask, petting her gently under the chin.

She purrs and sits down.

"Did you sense I was having a bad morning? Huh? You're a smart girl."

She stands up and climbs onto my chest before curling up and purring more. I continue running my fingers over her soft fur and enjoying the small weight.

I guess this is some kind of sign that I need to stay alive today.

209 words :)


	3. Dick

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none  
AN: Plz comment and vote~  
~Corpse pov~  
"Sykkuno!" I shout through the apartment.

"What?" He yells back. 

"What rhymes with dick?"

I hear him laughing.

"I'm being serious! I'm trying to write a song!"

His footfalls get closer and closer until he comes through the doorway into my bedroom.

"Why the hell are you writing a song about your dick?"

"I'm not really..."

"Oh yeah? Give me the rest of the line."

"You know what? This isn't necessary, I'll just come up with something on my own."

"No no no, now you've got to tell me."

I can feel the blood rush to my cheeks. 

"Got your-"

"What? I can't hear you when you mumble like that," Thomas teases me.

"Got your bitch on my dick," I finally say.

He loses his shit and has to hold his stomach he's laughing so hard.

"Hey! Don't be a jerk!"

"Sorry, sorry."

"Here, listen to what I have so far."

I pull up the clip that I already recorded and hit play, letting the bass thump through my speakers.

When it's over my roommate looks slightly surprised.

"I knew you've been working on some stuff, but damn... that was really good."

"Really? You think so?"

"Yeah man, it's hot. Like, I could imagine it playing in a club for sure."

"Thanks."

He nods and then goes to leave.

"Oh, and I would break up that line."

"What?"

"Bitch already kinda rhymes with dick so I wouldn't rhyme it again."

"Oh, alright. Cool."

I grab my notepad and think it over, writing different ideas and crossing them out as I go.

Got your bitch on my dick, like she want one.

273 words :)


	4. We’re Moving

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none  
AN: don't forget to vote and comment! Sorry these are so short, I'll give you a longer one when I come up with a good idea!  
~Corpse pov~  
I heave a sigh as I roll over in bed again. I haven't gotten any sleep cause Sykkuno is being loud in the living room. He keeps knocking things over and scaring the crap out of me.

I finally crawl out from under my warm blanket and pull my door open.

"Sykkuno shut the fuck up!" I groan.

After some rustling my roommate's bedroom door opens up.

"Why should I shut up? You're the one making all the noise!"

We look at each other for a minute, realizing that neither of us are the culprits for the disturbance in the living room.

"Corpse?"

"Hmm?"

"Is someone in there?"

My heart is pounding in my chest but I ignore it, knowing that Thomas would never be brave enough to figure out what's going on. I duck back into my room and grab the baseball bat that I store under my bed.

"I'll take care of it," I assure him.

He nods and I can feel his presence behind me as I creep down the hall and peer into our main living space.

No one.

I step fully into the room, weapon at the ready, but there's nothing. Some pictures and lamps are knocked over, but I don't see anyone.

"Well?" I hear Sykkuno chirp.

"Nothing. No one's in here."

"That's almost scarier. What was making all that noise?"

"I don't-" my sentence fades as I look at the ceiling. "Fuck!" I yell, darting back into the hallway.

"What? Is it a ghost? A murderer?"

"There's a bat!" I whisper yell.

"A bat? That's it, either you're getting rid of it or we're moving."

"Why do I have to get rid of it?"

"Cause... um, cause your voice is deeper!"

"That makes no sense!"

"Yeah it does, a deeper voice means you're braver."

"Ugh, fine, but I need a laundry basket and a trash bag."

Five minutes later I'm shuffling into the living room with a laundry basket on my head... don't judge me. I spot the bat chilling in the corner of the ceiling, so I make my way and slowly climb up on the couch so I can reach it. Up close the creature is even creepier than I thought it would be so I blinding try to get it in the bag which only succeeds in scaring it.

"Oh my god! oh my god!!" Sykkuno shrieks, hiding in the hallway.

There's a banging on the wall followed by yelling.

"Be quiet! We have kids trying to sleep!"

Oops.

I make the decision that this needs to be done. I spot the flying rodent again and quickly hold the bag open, crossing the room and leaping to catch it. The little creature flaps around in the bag as I hold the opening shut. I take it out onto the balcony and close the door behind me before I let it loose. I watch it fly away and I honestly think it's kinda cool to see him against the moonlit sky.

When I go back inside Thomas is sprawled out on the couch with his hand dramatically draped over his forehead.

"That was so scary," he whines.

"Oh yeah, cause you fucking caught the thing. Let's go to sleep."

"Alright."

"Are you gonna thank me?"

"I wasn't planning on it, but thank you Corpse. You're my hero."

"That's what I thought. Goodnight."

"Night."

564 words :)


	5. Edgy

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none  
AN: comment and vote per usual :3  
~Corpse pov~  
"Dude, when was the last time you went outside?"

"What?" I ask, pulling my headphones off.

"You've been playing video games and watching Netflix every single time I've seen you this week."

"So?"

"You need to get outside! Get fresh air! Soak up the sun!"

"I'll pass."

"Get ready, we're going on a walk," he says, not leaving any room for me to decide.

I sigh and stand up from my desk, going into my bedroom and looking through my closet for something decent to wear outside. I end up putting on black jeans, a bleach dyed hoodie, my doc martens, and a black face mask.

When I step into the kitchen my roommate laughs at me.

"What?" I grumble.

"You're wearing that to go outside?"

"Yeah?"

"You realize it's like eighty degrees today, right?"

"I'll be fine, let's get this over with."

"Alright mr. grumpy pants."

We lock the apartment behind us and take the stairs down to the main entrance. As soon as we step outside I can tell that Thomas was right and I'm not necessarily dressed for the weather. My breath instantly seems hot against my face and my boots feel too heavy.

"This is torture Sykkuno, let's go back," I whine.

"Shut up and walk with me for a little bit. I'll make sure we stay in the shade."

I sigh and fall into step with him.

It's not too uncomfortable in the shade and it's nice to stretch my legs. Since we're in the middle of Las Angeles it's not exactly quiet, but there's something calming about nature in general.

"Isn't this nice?" Thomas asks, bumping his shoulder playfully against mine.

I roll my eyes.

"I guess so. Those flowers up there are really pretty."

He laughs and nods.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing, nothing," he chuckles, shaking his head.

"Tell me."

"I just love how you always come off as this emo dude with the scary voice and the horror stories, but really you're a big softy. I mean, those flowers are beautiful and you're not afraid to point it out."

This statement makes me smile even though Thomas can't tell since my mouth and nose are covered. He knows me really well and can probably tell by how my eyes are crinkling, but I don't care.

"Wanna stop for ice cream?" He suggests, motioning towards the small shop we're coming up to.

"Sure, will you um... will you go in and order mine?"

My friend smiles, knowing that I'm severely agoraphobic and simultaneously terrified of someone recognizing my voice.

"Sure thing, you want two scoops of birthday cake, right?"

I nod and chuckle to myself, wondering how I ended up with such an amazing friend.

I sit at one of the outdoor tables and enjoy the fresh air until he comes back with two bowls.

We eat in mostly silence but it's comfortable. Sykkuno has known me for a very long time and we just understand each other. I know that he needs a certain amount of contact and socializing to stay happy and he knows that I need peace and quiet most the time. Neither of us are bothered or hindered by the other, our routines just feel natural now.

Once our bowls are empty we start the short walk back home. I notice that the sun is beginning to set and it's casting all kinds of beautiful colors throughout the sky. I pull my mask off and look around, letting a smile fall onto my features. I should go outside and at least see the sunset more often.

"I think it's a shame," Thomas says a little quietly.

"What?"

"Just... the persona that you let everyone believe is really you. You should let the world know that you're more than this edgy, depressed guy."

I sigh, knowing he's right.

"I know I should, it's just hard because I feel safe and hidden right now. I'm always scared that letting the world know one more thing about me is gonna ruin it all."

"It won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because you couldn't ruin anything if you tried. Letting yourself out of the box you've built will only make things better."

I don't reply to this and instead I just ponder it.

I know I'm not gonna reveal my face or anything else about myself to the internet soon... but maybe one day. Maybe one day I could let everyone know that depression and angst doesn't make a person. There's so much more to me.

754 words :)


	6. Bad Feelings

TRIGGER WARNINGS: anxiety, agoraphobia, panic attack, mild self harm  
AN: comment, vote, you know the drill. I feel like I'm getting more comfortable writing these characters and the stories are flowing easier. I hope y'all are enjoying! Xoxo  
~Sykkuno pov~  
The first thing I see when I push open the apartment door is my roommate, Corpse, pacing in the living room. His hands are clenched into fists and he looks distressed. I wonder how long he's been doing this? Sometimes when he panics he'll get stuck in a loop of doing something while he tries to calm down, like pacing or watching a show for hours.

"Corpsy?" I ask, walking toward my friend.

His head snaps up and I see fear in his eyes. My heart breaks a little when he has anxiety attacks because he becomes so vulnerable.

"I-I just went to get coffee!" He says suddenly. This obviously doesn't explain anything so I nod my head to make him go on. "And the barista recognized my voice!"

He's becoming hysterical and losing control of his breathing so I grab his hand and lead him to the couch, forcing him to sit. I take the seat next to him and force him to unclench his fists. His nails were digging into his palms and the skin looks irritated.

"Okay, let's go over this calmly. Were you wearing a mask?"

He nods.

"Good, that's really good because the person doesn't actually know what you look like. What did you do after they said they knew you?"

"I-um... I just thanked them for being a fan and left. Oh my god they must think I'm such a freak! I went to get coffee and I didn't even place an order before I bolted! And they could grab the security footage and leak it and then everything would be fucked! I knew I shouldn't have left home." 

"Stop that right now. More than likely they were a little confused that you left but if they know anything about you then they know that you have trouble being in public and they'll understand. Also, nobody can just take security footage, that only happens in movies. Only the police can access it and even they need a warrant. You're completely safe."

My friend studies his shaking hands and takes a few deeps breaths.

"Y-you're right. I know you're right but I can't stop freaking out. I'm never going anywhere ever again."

Shit. Corpse already struggles with agoraphobia and if it gets any worse he really will become a hermit. I read online that every time someone has a public panic attack it can cause agoraphobia or make the condition worse. Today was probably very traumatic for him.

"Let's not say that. How about you go take a nap? You seem like you need to rest for awhile."

"Yeah, okay. I didn't sleep very well last night anyways."

"Alright, I'm gonna be streaming this afternoon but I'll be done in time for dinner."

"Okay," he mumbles, stumbling off to his room.

All afternoon as I stream various video games I can't get Corpse out of my head. I'm worried that somehow that person at the coffee shop with leak his true identity and then he'll think I'm a liar. I know that's an irrational fear and I can talk myself down from it, but the worry that Corpse will stop going outside in general is startling. He's already severely socially anxious and completely cutting off contact with the outside world wouldn't be healthy. He needs good experiences in public to show him that's it's safe and he needs to be able to meet people and see his friends to help his mental health. Sitting alone and never seeing anyone is going to be detrimental for his depression.

By the time I'm done streaming I've nearly worried myself sick. I shut down my computer and hurry out into the living room, hoping my friend is awake. He is, and he's laying on the couch doing something on his phone.

"Hey," I chirp, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Hey, how was your stream?"

"Pretty good. How... um, how are you?"

His eyes flick from his phone over to me and then back to the small screen.

"Fine. What should we have for supper?"

"No, don't change the subject. Are you okay? That was a really bad panic attack."

He sighs and sits up, putting his phone on the coffee table.

"I knew I shouldn't have gone anywhere today, I could just feel that something bad was gonna happen. I was right, I've learned my lesson and I'll listen to my gut next time."

I cross the room and sit at the opposite end of the couch from him.

"That's actually what I'm worried about. You know that you can't just completely seclude yourself, right? You need human contact."

"That's why I have you!" He chuckles.

"No, that's not what I meant. If you're isolated and never practice your social skills then your social anxiety could get a lot worse and leave you crippled if you ever wanted to leave the apartment again. Not to mention the effects it could have one your depression."

"I hadn't thought about it that much. My anxiety just tells me that staying home is the best and safest option, but maybe you're right. I don't want it to get worse." He says, looking at me with wide eyes.

I smile at him. I love that he's open to taking advice and doesn't get defensive like some people.

"Just try to get out sometimes. You're obviously not a person that thrives off of a lot of social interaction, but a few times a week you should get some fresh air."

He nods, studying his hands. I keep quiet cause I feel like he's thinking this all over.

"What if... what if I took care of our grocery shopping from now on?" He suggests.

"That sounds like a great idea."

"Yeah, it will force me to get out of the house and go to the store."

"You can't let us starve because you have a bad feeling about going out. Okay?"

He blushes and smiles.

"I promise."

997 words :)


	7. fml

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none  
Corpse: Why did I agree to do our grocery shopping? This is terrible.

Sykkuno: Because you're supposed to be socializing. 

Corpse: But there's SO many people! I hate it.

Sykkuno: I know, but it's good for you.

Corpse: *middle finger emoji*

Sykkuno: Real nice.

Corpse: What do we like to eat?

Sykkuno: I thought you didn't need a list?

Corpse: I'm having regrets, okay? I forgot how many options there are.

Sykkuno: Milk, eggs, bread, deli meat, cheese, and whatever else you want.

Corpse: Ham or turkey.

Sykkuno: Whichever

Corpse: oh my god oh my god oh my god

Sykkuno: What?

Corpse: I had to talk to the meat counter guy and it was so fucking embarrassing. Fuck me.

Sykkuno: Was he hot?

Corpse: wtf?

Sykkuno: You said you wanted him to fuck you...

Corpse: You're the worst.

Sykkuno: You love me.

Corpse: Okay, I think I got everything.

Sykkuno: See you soon.

Corpse: Wait... I have to talk to a cashier...

Sykkuno: Yeah?

Corpse: fml

Sykkuno: It will be fine.

Corpse: Okay, it's done.

Sykkuno: I told you it would be fine.

Corpse: None of that was fine. I'm sweating. I'm never doing this again.

Sykkuno: Unless we're both starving to death, then I beg to differ.

Corpse: We'll place online orders and have it shipped to the house.

Sykkuno: Nope.

Corpse: You're so mean.

Sykkuno: I'm really not.

Corpse: omw

Sykkuno: Drive safe.

235 words :)


	8. Junk Closet

TRIGGER WARNINGS: a little depression, vomiting.  
AN: Comment and vote! Don't forget to read Corpse' parts in his voice, it completes the entire experience :p  
~Corpse pov~  
This is fucking ridiculous. This closet is a fucking mess and I'm done dealing with it.

"Thomas!" I yell, shifting around boxes and trying to locate my other shoe.

"What's up?" He chirps as he appears next to me in the small hallway.

"We need to clean the junk closet."

"Ugh, why?"

"I can never find anything in here! It's making me violent!"

"Alright alright, I get it. Let's get this over with."

I starting pulling boxes out and handing them to him so that he can carry them to the living room.

"Let's go through all of those first and then we can sort through the loose stuff."

"Why did we ever let that closet get so messy?" Sykkuno whines.

"It was our deal! When we moved in we could shove anything in there that we didn't want to unpack."

"We should have known that would bite us in the butt."

We both go to the living room and pull a big box labeled "Corpse" in front of the couch. I take out my pocket knife and slice the tape open, pulling the flaps back to reveal whatever is inside. It quickly becomes obvious why I didn't want to unpack this, it's complete junk. There are some old notebooks filled with lyrics, a few shirts that don't fit me anymore, a stack of ps2 video games, and a studded belt.

"Do you want to save any of it?" Sykkuno asks.

"Um, just the video games, I've still got that console somewhere."

I retrieve the ones I want and we set the rest of the box aside to go to goodwill. I make a mental note to throw away the notebooks though, they've got to be filled with the most embarrassing and angsty shit ever.

The next box is another one of mine although it's a lot smaller than the last one. There's only a few CDs and a couple of bracelets that I have no idea recollection of owning. One of them just has plastic beads and the other one has little letter beads that spell out "bad bitch." 

"Jackpot! I'm wearing these forever!" I yell.

"Dude! What the hell?" Sykkuno laughs.

"Okay, get one of your boxes, I'm done looking through my shit."

He sighs and grabs a big box that must be heavy considering how much he's struggling.

When he cuts it open his eyes light up.

"Oh my god! I forgot my mom gave these to me."

"What are they?"

He pulls out an ugly leather photo album and sits beside me again.

"They're family photo albums and this one has all of my baby pictures. She insisted on giving them to me when I left home so that I wouldn't forget everyone. Isn't that dramatic?"

I laugh and he starts flipping through the pages. All babies look alike so there's not much noteworthy there, but when we get into the pictures of my roommate as a toddler I'm shocked.

"You've always looked exactly the same!" 

"I have not!"

"Yeah, this is like a shrunken version of you now!"

He rolls his eyes and keeps going, pointing out different things about the pictures.

"That was my favorite shirt, I refused to wear anything else for a full year. That was my eighth birthday, I ate so much blue frosting that it stained my teeth. Oh, and there I am on my first day of high school."

As he keeps going I can feel my mood shift. I try to play along and seem interested but my thoughts have turned dark.

"This is cool but um, I just remembered that I'm supposed to stream with Rae. I'll finish my boxes later."

"Okay, have fun," he says, seeming enthralled by the photo album.

I go to my room and pull off my t-shirt, crawling into bed and pulling the covers over myself. Thomas will quickly realize that I'm not streaming in here but hopefully I'll be asleep before that happens.

My mind is full of memories of my own relationships and childhood which causes a stray tear to run down my cheek as I drift off to sleep.

I'm not sure how long I'm out but when I wake up I feel even worse. My head is pounding and my throat burns. I forgot that I had eaten lunch shortly before laying down and now I'm gonna have heartburn. I groan and get up, not bothering with a shirt before wondering down the hall to the bathroom. My throat really hurts and all of a sudden I feel nauseous. Fucking gastroesophageal reflux disease. I lean over the toilet and puke, stomach acid coming up along with my lunch.

"Fuck," I groan, wiping my mouth.

I clean myself up and brush my teeth before going out to the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Are you okay? I heard you throwing up." Sykkuno asks, shutting off the tv.

"I'm good, laying down upset my stomach."

"Yeah you definitely didn't wait six hours. Why, uh... why did you lie about streaming? You could have just said that you were bored of looking at my stuff."

His eyes are big and hurt which breaks my heart because none of this is his fault.

"It wasn't that at all. I just...you know I... my childhood was different than yours."

Understanding crosses his face.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry dude. I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"It's okay. It's not your fault that my family never cared enough to document the few milestones I had."

"Well... maybe they weren't a great family, but I can be your family."

I smile at him.

"You're the best."

He makes me soup for dinner and insists I rest even though it's very hard for me.

The next morning when I wake up I see a small gift on my desk. It's in purple wrapping paper with a silver bow on top. What the fuck?

I grab it and then sit cross legged in my bed. As I peel back the paper I reveal a black photo album. At first I'm confused but when I open it I realize what my friend did. The entire album is filled with pictures of me and Sykkuno. Some are snapshots he took of me doing stuff and others are selfies of the two of us. There's a small place to write something about each photo and he's filled a few of them in.

That time Corpse was on Anthony Padilla's show.

Corpse turns 21!

Corpse receives his gold YouTube play button!

I can't stop the tears that make their way down my cheeks. I close the book and tuck it under my arm, leaving my room and rushing down the hall to find Sykkuno. He isn't in his room and I realize that he must be in the bathroom. I knock on the door and a minute later it swings open.

"What-" he starts, but I cut him off with an impromptu hug.

"Thank you," I say earnestly.

He doesn't reply, he just wraps his arms around me and lets me hold him.

1188 words :)


	9. Smart Ass

TRIGGER WARNINGS: self hate, vomiting  
AN: Vote and comment!  
~corpse pov~  
I can't believe I've let him talk me into this. I'm completely happy just staying home and chilling out all weekend but no, my roommate wants to go to a club. That's another thing, of all the public activities out there and you want to dance with a bunch of wasted people in a seizure inducing room?

I sigh because I know he just has my best interest in mind. He agreed to go out with some college friends and invited me along so that I wouldn't be bored at home. I tried to politely tell him to fuck off, but he insisted on me coming.

That's why I'm in my room trying to remember what people wear in public. I'm in a pair of black jeans, a black t-shirt, black converse, and a black mask. There's not much to be done for my hair, it's just gonna be wild and curly. For a final touch I spray a little cologne onto my neck and then shrug my shoulders. This is as good as it's getting.

When I go out into the kitchen Sykkuno is waiting for me.

"Oh damn! You look good Corpsy! You're giving me this mysterious vibe."

"Good," I grumble. He knows full well that I'm terrified of someone knowing that I'm Corpse Husband.

"It's gonna be fine, you'll barely have to talk tonight," he reassures me for the millionth time.

"Yeah yeah, let's get this over with."

"That's the spirit!"

If I thought being at home thinking of going out was bad, actually being in a club was way worse. It's so loud and everyone is drunk and annoying. I stick to Thomas as much as I can and we make our way up to the bar. I order myself a red bull and vodka because I need to be drunk quickly.

"Let's go find everyone else!" Sykkuno tells into my ear.

"I'm gonna stay here!" I reply.

He nods and disappears into the crowd.

I take off my mask and finish my drink quickly, ordering another as a small girl slips onto the stool next to me.

"Hi!" She shouts at me, leaning toward the bartender to order a drink.

I give her a little nod to show that I heard her, slipping my mask back over my mouth and nose.

"Why are you wearing a mask? Are you sick?"

"No, I'm just socially awkward and it helps if I can hide."

She laughs and I grin to myself. A lot of people think that since I'm agoraphobic and worried about people recognizing my voice, that I don't get any girls. That assumption would be wrong. When you have a voice like mine it's not hard to bring home one night stands without even trying.

"What are you drinking?" She asks me.

"Red bull and vodka."

"I've never even heard of that, is it good?"

"It gets you wasted fast and you get the kick of caffeine."

"But it's nearly eleven at night, you're never gonna get any sleep at this rate."

"I might not have time to sleep if I'm busy doing other activities," I suggest flirtatiously.

Her cheeks turn red and she giggles.

"I'm Rachel!" 

"Corpse."

"Excuse me?"

"Corpse, like a dead body."

"Um, why?"

"Kind of a nickname. Nothing creepy, it's just because I like horror movies."

We talk for awhile before I have to excuse myself to use the bathroom. After doing my business I wash my hands but as I look up into the mirror I cringe at my reflection. God, why would anyone be interested in me? I'm so bland and my hair is a mess and I have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. I shake my head and look away.

When I leave the bathroom I look over to the bar and Rachel still sitting there. She's so pretty with shoulder length, brown hair and those piercing green eyes. She can do better than me.

I make a snap decision and leave the building instead of going back to her. I shoot Thomas a text to tell him I'm going home and then I get an Uber.

Going up the stairs to our apartment feels like it takes all of my energy and instead of being nicely buzzed from my drinks, the world is slightly spinning. I let myself in the front door and then go directly to my bedroom. I strip out of my clothes and get in bed. This is where I should be. Sleep is the only thing I deserve.

I wake up to a splitting headache and the need to puke. After a quick stop in the bathroom to hurl my guts up I wander to the kitchen for water and painkillers. Thomas isn't anywhere to be seen so I go back to bed, putting my head under the covers to block out the daylight.

"Corpse... Corpse wake up."

I groan and roll onto my back, blocking the sun with my hand. Some asshole opened up my curtains.

"What?" I mumble.

"You've been asleep all day, I thought you were dead!" Sykkuno says.

"Not dead, go away."

I rest my arm over my eyes and yawn.

"Why did you leave last night? I saw you talking to that cute girl at the bar."

"I wasn't feeling well."

"Why did you drink if you were sick?"

"I wasn't sick."

"Corpse, you looked like you were having a good time, what happened?"

"I just-I felt bad for Rachel."

"That was the girl you were talking to?"

I nod.

"She deserves better than me."

"What? No, you're awesome."

"I'm really not though. I can't go anywhere, I have health problems, I'm depressed all the time. I'm definitely not gonna get them with my looks."

Thomas snorts.

"What?" I nearly growl, done with this conversation.

"You're super handsome dude."

"I don't see it."

"Well that doesn't matter because Rachel saw it. I went over to ask her if she knew why you left and she gave me her number to pass along to you."

"She did?" I ask, moving my arm.

"Yeah, she seemed real nice. You should let her decide if you're good enough for her or not. Don't let your insecurities fuck up something that could be good."

I nod and he leaves the room.

Well fuck. Why does he have to be such a smart ass?

1068 words :)


	10. Sick fic

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none  
AN: Don't forget to vote and comment!  
~corpse pov~  
"Sykkuno, you look terrible," I say as my friend stumbles out of his room.

"I'm fine, I just have a cold."

I nod and he goes to the bathroom before shuffling down the hall toward his bed again.

I continue watching tv for awhile before I decide I should probably go check on my friend. I knock lightly on his door and when he doesn't answer I assume he's asleep, so I open it and step in. Thomas is in his bed wrapped up in blankets, shivering, with a layer of sweat on his forehead.

"Fuck," I whisper.

"Corpse?" He groans.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"I was just checking on you, I'm gonna find some medicine, okay?"

"M'kay."

In the bathroom I find a bottle of DayQuil and I take it to the kitchen with me while I get him a glass of water. 

"Sit up, I need you to take this," I say quietly as I stand next to his bed.

"I don't need anything, your voice is gonna heal me."

"Excuse me?" I say with a chuckle.

"Your voice is gonna heal me."

"Okay sure, but it's not really so I need you to take this."

He sits up and swallows the liquid, washing it down with water.

"I'm so hot," he whines.

"Lay down, I'll be right back."

I go back to the bathroom and get a washcloth, soaking it in freezing cold water and wringing it out.

"Roll over, this is for your forehead."

He moans a little so I just lay the cloth on the back of his neck instead. Good enough.

I close his door and go back to the living room.

I've never thought of myself as being a very caring or nurturing person, but it sucks to see my friend so sick. Maybe I should make him soup.

I go to the kitchen and set out the ingredients before beginning to chop up a bunch of vegetables. I put them in a pot with chicken broth and then put it all on the stove to simmer with a few mild seasonings. I'll add some rice and chicken to it later but the vegetables need to cook first.

I go back to the living room and lay on the couch, watching an old rerun of The Office. The next thing I know I'm waking up, which isn't uncommon because I have insomnia so I commonly fall asleep during the day. Usually I sleep longer though, what woke me?

"Corpse?" I hear weakly from the other room.

I quickly get up and go to check on Thomas, hoping he hasn't been yelling for me for too long.

"Hey, sorry, I was napping," I say, my voice even lower than usual from disuse.

"It's okay, I was wondering if you could bring me some orange juice and a piece of toast?"

I notice that he's looking a little perkier and only laying under one blanket instead of a mountain of them like he was earlier.

"Sure, are you feeling a little better?"

He nods.

"The medicine must be helping, thank goodness," he chirps, rubbing his nose a little.

"I'll get your food."

"Thanks."

I make quick work of making his snack and taking it to him.

"Eat this now and I'll have chicken soup ready in about an hour."

"You're cooking for me?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You've never done that before."

"Sure I have."

"No, I guarantee you haven't."

"Oh."

"Are you a good cook?"

"I guess you'll know in a bit."

I feel extra pressure to make sure my soup is perfect now so I get to work. I cut the chicken into nice pieces before I sauté it with onions and then add it to the pot with the vegetables and I throw in some rice. Twenty minutes later I carry a steaming bowl in for my roommate.

"Sit up, I've got soup."

"This smells really good, Corpsy. Thank you."

"No problem."

I hold my breath as he tries a bite and he nearly moans, his eyes rolling back in his head dramatically.

"Fuck... this is so good," he says before shoving another bite in his mouth. I know that he's being serious because he rarely curses.

"Really? I'm glad."

"Who taught you to cook?"

"Um, m-my grandma."

"Is she still alive?" He asks gently, probably suspecting the answer.

I shake my head quickly.

I fix myself a bowl of food before going back to Sykkuno's bed to keep him company for awhile. We eat and talk a little until he starts looking drowsy.

"I'll let you sleep, give me your bowl."

"Here, I'll see you in the morning," he says quietly, handing me his dish before he lays down and snuggles under his covers.

After putting our dishes in the dishwasher and pouring the extra food into a fridge container, I go to my room. My day definitely didn't go how I expected it too, but I feel very accomplished, knowing that I was able to help Sykkuno. He's always taking care of me and it was nice to return the favor.

853 words :)


	11. Storm Cloud Emoji

TRIGGER WARNINGS: this whole chapter is basically poor Corpsy being very depressed and having thoughts of self harm and suicide. Please be careful if anything of that nature is triggering for you.  
AN: Don't forget to vote and comment!  
~corpse pov~  
Why am I like this? What have I done to deserve this? Somewhere along the line did I walk under a ladder unknowingly? Did god just decide that I would be fucked up when he created me?

I clench my eyes shut and roll over in bed. Everything feels heavy and dark and foggy today. Even though the sun is shining through my thin curtains and that would usually brighten my mood, nothing seems to be able to break through the veil of depression around me.

I just want to die.

I just want to cut.

I just want it to stop.

This isn't uncommon for me. I'm usually a little depressed, just enough that I don't feel good but it's easily disguised. Every once in awhile life likes to pepper in a couple days of complete shit. The suicidal thoughts like to join in on those days. I haven't cut myself in years and I've never even attempted to kill myself, but the thoughts float around sometimes.

My phone dings but I'm not gonna check it. Sometime in the next few days a switch will flip and I'll feel good enough to function again, but it's hopeless right now. 

I'm hopeless.

I force myself to sit up and dig around in the drawer of my bedside table until I come up with a black ink pen. I push up my sleeve and begin doodling on my pale skin of my wrist, noticing the rolling feeling as I go over my veins. I draw a little flower with a wavy stem, a few leaves, and then some of those sparkly things. When it's done I feel less of an urge to destroy my skin.

I lay back down and sigh.

Is this going to be my entire life? Am I always going to be minimized to these little tricks just to keep going? 

Draw on yourself instead of cutting.

Make a list of reasons to live.

Take this medication.

Try that medication.

The side effects will go away.

Start meditating.

Be mindful.

Be gentle with yourself.

Hours and hours of useless therapy.

None of it matters. I'm in pain. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I'm in pain and the best thing I can do right now is just accept that maybe this is my life.

I dig around in my bed until I come up with my phone and I start typing out lyrics in my "notes" app. I title this note with a storm cloud emoji.

I can't do shit right, I can't learn my lesson  
I can't do shit right, take antidepressants

I stop there and toss my phone aside. What a shitty way to start a song. After thinking for awhile I come up with more verses though, so I get back to work, telling my inner voice to shut the fuck up. If I have to go through all of this, if this is what my life is going to be like, the least I can do is turn this shit into some badass music.

509 words :)


	12. Alpha

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none  
AN: Idk what this is... just some funny morning texts between the boys I guess. Vote and comment, maybe it will inspire me to write better content lolol  
~corpse pov~  
Sykkuno: Hey, are you awake?

Corpse: Yeah

Sykkuno: Come in here.

Corpse: To your room?

Sykkuno: Yeah.

Corpse: Why?

Sykkuno: No reason...

Corpse: You're gonna make me get you something so that you can stay in bed, aren't you?

Sykkuno: No...

Corpse: :/

Sykkuno: Okay! Yes! I was!

Corpse: wtf dude? I'm comfortable in my bed too! You're so heartless sometimes

Sykkuno: My blankets are warm and my headphones are all the way over on the desk.

Corpse: I'm not your servant, asshole

Sykkuno: Fine, I'll do without my headphones.

~20 minutes later~

Sykkuno: Where's our cat?

Corpse: She has a name

Sykkuno: *sigh* Where's Emily?

Corpse: In my bed

Sykkuno: Why??? Why does she always choose to sleep with you??

Corpse: I think I'm the alpha of the house

Sykkuno: WHY??

Corpse: I'm just manly

Sykkuno: And I'm not? Is this a voice related thing?

Corpse: Maybe...

Sykkuno: No fair! I can't help it that my voice is like a little flute.

Corpse: Don't ever say that again, but also thanks for proving my point. I'm the alpha for sure

I hear some movement in the hallway but I don't think much of it until my door bursts open, revealing my roommate.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I groan.

He marches over to my bed and takes our cat in his arms before marching out of my room.

"What the fuck?" I shout again.

"That's payback for not helping me earlier and then insulting my manliness!" He shrieks.

Corpse: *middle finger emoji*

Sykkuno: Is that your most used emoji?

Corpse: ...

Sykkuno: I'll take that as a yes.

Corpse: *middle finger emoji*

274 words :)


	13. Insomnia

TRIGGER WARNINGS: lowkey suicidal thoughts.  
AN: Hi... I know this is short and kinda shitty, but I'm planning on posting two longer chapters today so plz hold on for me! Vote and comment plz :)  
~corpse pov~  
I let out a sigh and finally sit up in bed. Sometimes I try to wait out my insomnia and see if I'll ever drift off, but it's a lost cause tonight.

I fling my blankets off and leave the bed with my cat, Emily, hot on my heels. We tread lightly through the hallway so that we don't disturb Sykkuno and make our way to the kitchen. I pull down a mug and fill it with water, putting it in the microwave for a minute. While it heats I dig through the cabinets and find a "sleepy time blend" tea bag. I think Thomas bought a box of these because he thought I could use it since I commonly can't calm down for bed.

After letting my tea steep I go out onto the balcony, bringing the cat with me. I sit on the comfy chair we keep out here and let Emily curl up in my lap. My tea is hot which feels good compared to the cool night air. As it soothes my constantly burning throat.

It's not exactly quiet since we live in California, but it's definitely calmer than during the day. There's almost no one walking on the sidewalks and only a few cars on the street. I watch a fire truck fly by with its lights flashing and it gets me thinking.

Why am I here? The guys in that fire truck have chosen a career that gives them purpose. Was I really put here on the earth to suffer and then be a YouTuber for awhile? My whole life is constantly filled with pain, be it emotional, physical, or psychological, it's always there. I'm stressed, my muscles hurt, I can't sleep, I have heartburn, I'm anxious, sometimes all of them at once. What kind of an existence is that? Am I having an existential crisis?

Emily purrs and I pet her head, rubbing her soft ears with my rough fingers. I guess maybe I was put here because I was supposed to meet Sykkuno, and we were supposed to adopt Emily. She was at a small shelter and they nearly had to put her down because of overcrowding. People are so goddamn superstitious that they didn't want a black cat. Those idiots don't realize that luck isn't real. They were just missing out on this wonderful little fur ball.

My purpose is definitely not my music. God wasn't like "here, you're gonna grow up to live in California, play video games, and make sexually explicit music about kinks." Making music is my favorite thing to do, but I'm not changing anyone's lives with it.

I think that's what gets me. In my mind our purpose isn't some docile thing, it should be something awesome. I should be the one saving someone's life, or fighting in a war, or something that actually makes a difference.

Maybe... maybe my big thing just hasn't happened yet. Maybe it's never gonna happen.

"Ugh, Emily, you're one of the only reasons I keep going," I grumble quietly.

She meows and I smile a little. Sometimes I get so caught up in my head that I forget to enjoy the little things. The times that Sykkuno laughs at my jokes, the times that I get to play video games with all my friends, the times I have a breakthrough on a song, even times like this. I let myself enjoy the quiet hum of the city, the cool breeze on my face, the soft animal on my lap, and the buzz of cicadas.

This is what we're all here for, whether or  
not we do something awesome with our lives is up to us and fate. I think we're all supposed to accept whatever life throws at us, even if it's a sleepless night.

I scoop up my cat and wonder back inside to my bed. I feel strangely at peace after my little realization. I crawl in my cozy bed, covering myself with a blanket, and let my eyes fall shut. 

675 words :)


	14. 29

TRIGGER WARNINGS: agoraphobia, panic attack.  
AN: I told y'all I'd write a longer one! THERE WILL BE ANOTHER LONGER ONE TODAY! I repeat, there will be another longer one today!!! Plz Vote and comment :)  
~corpse pov~  
"Do you think Corpse is the imposter?"

"Yeah, it's probably him."

"He hasn't been suss this whole game."

"Are you kidding me? He's just working his sexy magic on you, he's been suss like twelve times!"

I sit back in my chair and let them all debate if I'm imposter. Sometimes it's best to let them wear themselves out.

My phone makes a noise and when I check it I see a reminder pop up. It's titled, "DON'T FORGET SYKKUNO'S B-DAY 2MORROW!"

Fuck.

This is why I set a reminder! I'm notoriously bad with dates and I was worried that I would forget his birthday like I did last year. He deserves better than a last minute, store bought card and cake. I want to give him a really special day this year and a really nice present.

On my birthday he made me pancakes for breakfast, watched Unsolved Mysteries with me for hours cause he knew I wouldn't want to go anywhere, and then made me a cake with his own two hands. At the end of the night he surprised me with a PS4 and all the coolest games to go with it.

I'm aware that I won't be able to top that. Thomas is an incredibly thoughtful and generous person and I'm not, but I'm gonna try my best.

"Corpse? Corpse? Are you there?" Rae asks.

I realize that I just completely zoned out.

"Yeah, I'm here, sorry."

"God, you faceless gamers have it so easy! We have to make sure we look presentable and we never pick our noses and we have to sit here the whole time, but you can just fuck off whenever you want!" She rants.

I laugh and realize that nearly everyone has voted for me and I'm being ejected from the ship. That's fair because I am actually imposter. I'm relieved to see that the crew mates won this round and the game is over because I need to get to work on my plans for Sykkuno tomorrow.

I say my goodbyes and log off before finding a notebook and sitting back down at my desk. I begin writing notes of things I want to do and lists of things I'll need to buy.

I want to make him a nice breakfast, but it's probably just going to be bacon and eggs because I know he prefers that to a sweet breakfast option. For dinner I'm going to order pizza from his favorite restaurant, and I'm going to buy a cake. I know that it would be more thoughtful if I made him a cake from scratch, but I would probably accidentally poison us or something if I tried to bake. I can cook meals but baking is a different story.

I don't have any good ideas for things to do. I'm going to have to leave the apartment to go shopping today, so more than likely I'm not going to be able to force myself to go anywhere tomorrow. Maybe his other friends or family will go out with him.

As for gifts I have a few ideas. He's been complaining about his current headset for awhile because I guess one side of the headphones is going out. I'll replace that for him and maybe get him one of those badass gaming keyboards too. I have one and he always says he's jealous of it. 

This all sounds good but I feel like it's missing something more personal. I'm not able to cook him something or take him out and do anything fun, so maybe I could make him a gift? Is that lame? I haven't painted in a long time but I guess I could pull out my easel and see what I could do for him.

Looking at the notebook page absolutely covered in thoughts and plans I decide that I need to get started right now.

I get up and head to the bathroom for a quick shower. I brush my teeth and comb my hair before getting dressed. When I go back to my room to find my shoes I hear Sykkuno's bedroom door open.

"Corpse?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" His voice is closer now. I look behind me and he's standing in the doorway.

"Looking for my shoes."

"Why?"

"I'm going to the store."

"But you already went shopping on Friday."

"I-um-I forgot some stuff."

"Did you want me to go get it? I know you hate the store."

"No no no, it's fine."

He quirks and eyebrow and nods before leaving. I hear the bathroom door click shut so I throw on my converses and a mask before booking it to out front door. I want to escape while he's busy so he doesn't question me any further. He will probably realize that this is birthday related, but that's okay. As long as I keep my actual plans a secret then I'm happy.

I begin regretting my decisions the second I pull into the Walmart parking lot. Crowded areas fuck me up pretty badly. Usually I just shop at a small, local grocery store so that I don't have a panic attack, but I need paint too so I have to go in here.

Taking a deep breath I get out of the car and lock it as I slowly walk up to the entrance. There's a person making sure that everyone is wearing a mask as I walk in, they greet me and I just nod my head. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm a dick because I very, very rarely speak in public, but I'm scared of something recognizing my voice.

I keep my head down and go to the craft section. I need some new paint cause it turns out most of mine is dried up. I choose tubes of black, white, grey, and green and put them in my basket. I pick out a decent canvas, 16 by 20 inches so that it's not annoyingly big but I have some room to play. 

Next I go to the electronic section which is blessedly empty. I get a cool, red headset, and then pick up a keyboard just like the one I have. 

"Are you finding everything all right?" An employee asks me. I swear to god he popped up out of nowhere and gives me a damn heart attack.

I nod and take off toward the side of the store with the groceries. The isles are packed and there's a bunch of employees stocking shelves so it's basically my nightmare. I feel my breathing constrict as I quickly gather the items I need. 

My hands are shaking as I book it toward the cash registers. There's a huge line for the self checkout but I brave it to avoid talking to a cashier.

When I finally leave the store I feel close to tears. It was too loud and someone bumped into me and I'm overwhelmed. I stick my bags into the trunk and get into the safe and quiet of my car.

I did it.

I was super tempted to just buy a shitty Walmart cake, but my friend deserves better, so I make my way to a little bakery near our apartment. Its a nice little place, they sell ice cream, baked goods, and special order cakes. I'm hoping I can just choose something yummy out of the case and have them quickly pipe "happy birthday Thomas" on top.

When I pull up to the strip mall I sigh and rest my forehead on the steering wheel. I swear to god I'm going to die. My chest feels tight and my senses are under water. In small businesses I can't avoid interaction nearly as much which stresses me out and I'm already having a panic attack.

I take a couple deep breaths, or as deep as I can manage, and head to the front door.

"Welcome to dairy and sugar! How can I help you sir?" A chirpy teenage girls asks.

"Um, I need a birthday cake," I mumble.

"Sure! Come on over to the case. We just have a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting or a vanilla with chocolate frosting but of course we could special order something."

"Vanilla with chocolate frosting is fine, could you decorate it?"

"Absolutely, what do you want it to say?"

"Just happy birthday Thomas, please."

"White frosting?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be right back."

I nod and she disappears to the back room with my cake in tow.

I dig my fingernails into my palms in an attempt to bring myself back to reality but it doesn't work. 

She's back surprisingly fast to show me the writing and make sure I'm happy with it. When I tell her that it looks great she smiles and puts it in a pink box for me. She rings it up and I pay her before rushing back to my car.

"Okay, I did it. I can settle the fuck down. Everything else can happen at home." I mutter as I drive. It's slightly embarrassing that I have to give myself this pep talk at all and on top of that it doesn't even work.

Once I get home I take the bags and the cake to my room, thankful that my roommate is nowhere to be seen. Unfortunately I will have to store the cake and most of the groceries in the fridge, but I hide the breakfast ingredients in the vegetable drawer and write on the cake box.

NO PEEKING SYKKUNO!!!

Once that's taken care of I go back to my room and pull out my painting supplies. I have an idea of what I want to do, I'm just hoping I can do it justice. I take one of my medications for anxiety before I start, hoping that it will help along with the calming act of painting.

The next thing I know the painting is done and I'm fucking exhausted. I collapse into bed and black out immediately.

When my alarm goes off I'm actually excited to get out of bed for the first time in awhile. I have shit to do.

I get dressed and go out to the kitchen, starting the coffee maker and putting bacon in a pan to fry. 

While it starts cooking I make a collage on Instagram of Sykkuno pictures, adding "happy birthday" stickers and posting it on my story.

When I hear my roommate moving around in his room I crack a couple eggs into a skillet so that they'll be hot and ready when he comes out.

"What are you doing up already?" He asks, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he joins me in the kitchen.

"Happy birthday!" I shout.

His face turns a little red and he smiles.

"You remembered?"

"Of course I remembered," I gasp, feigning shock.

He laughs.

"Sit down, I'm making you breakfast," I order him.

"Okay, thanks."

"So, do you have any plans today?" I ask, hoping he does.

"Yeah, I'm going out to lunch with some college buddies and then I'm meeting someone else for happy hour."

"Good, good. That sounds like fun."

I serve him a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast along with a glass of orange juice and a mug of coffee.

"This smells so good, thank you Corpsy."

"No problem."

I make myself a plate and sit next to him.

"I was planning on ordering us pizza for dinner, is that okay?"

"That sounds great. After that can I see what's in the box from the bakery?"

"Maybe," I smirk.

We joke around and eat until our food is gone and Sykkuno needs to get ready for the rest of his day.

I've got a big stream this afternoon so I clean the kitchen quickly and go to my gaming room.

I honestly don't know where the time goes but one minute Thomas is telling me goodbye and then the next minute he's home.

"You're back already?" I ask, glancing away from my little crew mate.

"Um, yeah, it's nearly six o'clock."

"Damn, alright, let me finish this and then we'll order food."

Dinner is delicious and all I want to do is lay down and let all of the pizza I just ate digest while I sleep, but I know it would come right back up if I did that.

"Okay, gifts or cake?" I ask.

"I can't eat another bite, let's do gifts."

I nod and retrieve them from my room. I tried to wrap them and pretty much failed. They're all covered in the paper but the corners are messy and I couldn't curl the fucking ribbon. Wrapping paper is almost as bad as foil...

"You didn't have to get me anything, you've already been spoiling me today," he whines, seeming a little embarrassed by all of the attention.

"Shush, I wanted to. Open this one first."

I hand him a medium size box and he tears away the paper to reveal the headset.

"Oh my god! This is so cool! You remembered that I needed this!"

I can't help the smile that breaks out on my face. Making Sykkuno happy is the best.

"I'm glad you like it."

He opens the keyboard next and has to get up and physically jump up and down he's so excited. I swear to god he's like a little kid. It's kind of adorable though.

"Alright, before you open the last one I just want to say that I know it's bad and it's lame and it's cheesy, but I did my best and-"

"Corpse, stop that. I'm sure it's great, let me see."

I gulp and hand over the large, flat gift.

He removes the wrapping and his eyes fill with tears but he's simultaneously smiling.

"Y-you made this for me?"

I nod.

"Oh my god, Corpse, this is the best, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me! You're so talented! Thank you thank you thank you!" 

He turns it around and I see the painting I worked on for hours last night. I painted an abstract, gray background with a black crew mate that has horns, and a white crew mate with the little leaf on his head. I added our names above us and I'm standing close to him, recreating the time I gave him a little kiss and just to be sure that message was clear I added a little speech bubble with a heart above us.

"You really like it?" I ask, unsure because I can see every little flaw and missed detail in my work.

"Or course I like it! I love it!"

I smile, feeling the warmth grow in my chest. I've never made anyone something like that and I'm beyond pleased that he likes it.

"Let go get your cake. We don't have to eat it but I want you to see it."

"Okay, are you gonna sing to me?"

"Hell no."

"Oh come on, with your voice? It's my one birthday wish!"

"Are you kidding me?"

"No!" He giggles.

"Ugh, fine, come on."

He sits on a bar stool at the counter and I get the pink box, sitting it in front of him and opening it. His eyes light up when he sees the script in cursive on the top. I grab the candles that I bought and poke a few in the top. I decided that actually using twenty-nine candles would be a fire hazard so I just use as many as I want. 

Using a match I light them all and then sigh. Here goes nothing.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Thomas, happy birthday to you."

He smiles and blows out the candles.

"What did you wish for?"

"Well my one birthday wish already came true... but I did wish for something else."

"Oh yeah?"

He nods.

"I can't tell you or else it won't come true."

"Fine, do you want to go watch a show until we're hungry for cake?"

"Can we watch Glow Up?"

"Sure, whatever you want."

Awhile after we start the show my friend rests his head on my shoulder.

"Thank you for making me feel so special today," he murmurs.

"You're welcome, happy birthday Sykkuno."

2712 words :)


	15. Fears

TRIGGER WARNINGS: panic attack, anxiety, vomiting.  
AN: Bonjour bitches! I did it!! Here's your third story for the day. I have an idea for another so I won't be gone for long. Vote and comment :)  
~corpse pov~  
"Come on! We have plans and you have to follow through!"

"I really don't feel well, Sykkuno, I think I just need to stay home today."

"No, you need to do this, it's just your brain getting in the way of our fun."

"I-I don't know. I really don't want to leave home."

"Go get changed, we're going and it's gonna be fun."

I sigh and nod, going to my room.

I know he's right, it's just my anxiety telling me that it's not safe to leave the apartment, but when it's this bad I have trouble ignoring it. My stomach is a mess, rolling and twisting, and I feel nauseous. My palms are sweating and I start pacing without even thinking about it.

"You almost ready?" He asks.

"Y-yeah," I choke out.

Without giving the clothes I put on any consideration I'm ready in a few more minutes. My hands are shaking and my whole body is screaming that I shouldn't do this. I'm not safe I'm not safe I'm not safe.

"Just chill out dude, let's go," Sykkuno sighs, seeming irritated. Great, now I'm annoying him along with feeling sick. If I could stop feeling this way I would.

We go out to his car and I nearly throw up at the thought of truly leaving, but I do it anyway. He turns on the radio and tries to make small talk with me but I'm useless. My brain is racing a hundred miles an hour and I can only come up with noncommittal replies because I'm not processing what he's saying.

"We're here, let's go in," he chirps, acting as though nothing is wrong.

I gulp and nod, looking up at the sporting goods store. He wanted me to come shopping with him today and then we're supposed to get lunch. There's no way in hell I'm gonna be able to eat though. In fact, I haven't eaten all morning. My stomach is empty but I've been too nauseous to eat anything so now I feel as though I'm the verge of passing out.

We enter the store and Thomas heads over to the Nike stuff, looking at some shirts that are probably way overpriced. I try to fake it till I make it but I know I'm failing. I'm used to wearing masks but I feel slightly suffocated by it today.

We leave that store after awhile and he drags me to another. After that he takes me to a third, seemingly unaffected by my crumbling health. 

I'm wandering around the shoe section of a random place he needed to make a return at when my hearing goes out. Of course not completely but there's a high pitched ringing and then it sounds like I'm underwater. This officially sends me into a panic attack.

My eyes fill with tears and I gag, a warning that I'm about to throw up. I run to the bathroom even though I'm not sure how I know exactly where it is. I've never been in this store before. I run into a stall and rip my mask off before I collapse onto my knees and vomit. Not much comes up and it doesn't make me feel better. When I try to stand up the whole room shifts and I have to sit back down.

I pull out my phone and touch Sykkuno's contact, calling him.

"Corpse, where the fuck did you go?"

"I-I'm in the b-bathroom. I threw up, I need to go home."

"You don't need to go home, you need to man the fuck up. Get back out here right now."

"I can't!"

"Yes you can! You're making all of this up in your psycho little brain! You're fucking fine, so suck it up and stop being a drama queen."

Stop being a drama queen.

Stop being a drama queen.

Stop being a drama queen.

I feel my body, drenched in sweat and tears rolling down my face, but I'm in bed. How did I get in bed? It takes me a second to realize that it was just a dream. Or a nightmare rather.

Of course it was a dream. Sykkuno would never force me to go out if I didn't want to, he would never drag me to a bunch of stores, and he would never ignore me and be so rude if I was having a panic attack. He doesn't even cuss! How could I think that was real?

I get out of bed and go to the bathroom, washing my sweaty hands under cool water and then splashing some on my face. I open the medicine cabinet and pour one of my anxiety meds into my hand, swallowing it dry. 

I wander out to the couch and sit down, my cat quickly finding me and curling up on the cushion beside me. I pet her and try to calm down. My heart is still pounding and I'm physically shaking. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to sleep again, I can't risk experiencing my friend being so mean to me like that again.

"Corpse?" I hear Thomas' groggy voice ask.

"Hey," I sigh, burying my face in my hands so that he can't tell how fucked up I am.

"Are you okay?"

"Um, not really."

"What happened?" He asks as he plops on the sofa next to me, scooping Emily into his lap.

"I-it was nothing."

"Obviously it was something, just tell me."

"I had a nightmare," I mumble, embarrassed by being so shaken up by such a childish thing.

"What was it about?"

"You."

"Me? Why?"

"Y-you were being mean to me and I was having a panic attack. You made m-me leave the house and then I was in a store and I threw up and you were cursing at me."

His eyes go wide when I start crying again. I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning, but right now the dream still seems so real and the feelings are intense.

"Have you taken your medication?"

I nod.

"You know that I would never be upset with you about any of your mental illnesses, right? And I would never curse at you, no matter what." He soothes, rubbing my back.

"I know, it felt so real though. Now that I'm awake I can see some little things that didn't really add up but otherwise it seemed like real life."

"What can I do to make you feel better?"

I shrug.

"Come on, do you want to go for a walk or do you want some hot chocolate?"

"Hot chocolate would be good."

He gets up and goes to the kitchen.

Even just his offer of going on a walk nearly made my heart stop. That dream really fucked up any progress I've had with my agoraphobia. Lately I've been going out when it's a necessity and it's been fine besides some mild discomfort. Now even the thought of going to the grocery store makes me stomach turn.

My friend comes back in and hands me a steaming mug. The hot chocolate is smooth and the perfect temperature.

"Better?" He asks.

"A little."

He turns on the tv and finds a Friends rerun, letting it play quietly to distract us.

I think my meds are kicking in because I feel a bit more calm. I can understand that the dream was just all of my worst case scenarios piled into one horrific nightmare and I'm not feeling so anxious anymore.

"Thomas?" I murmur.

"Hmm?"

"I'm scared that my agoraphobia is gonna be worse again."

"What do you think would help that?"

"Will you go to the grocery store with me tomorrow?" I ask with a wobbly voice.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think I'm just gonna have to face my fears."

"Of course I will. Anything to help you."

"I-I'm really scared though."

"That's okay. How about this, in the morning when you've had some more rest you can decide if you still want to do it. I won't pressure you and if you decide not to go then you don't need to feel guilty or bad. It'll be totally up to you."

I let a sigh of relief that I didn't know I was holding.

"That sounds really good. Thank you."

We watch tv until I fall asleep on the couch and then I'm sure my friend goes back to his comfortable bed.

When I wake up I can instantly tell that it's going to be a rough day. Sleeping on the couch has definitely made my fibromyalgia flair. I sit up with a groan and begin massaging a few muscles that are unbearably tight and painful.

"Morning Corpsy," Sykkuno chirps from the kitchen.

"Morning."

"You okay?"

"I shouldn't have slept out here, my muscles are all fucked up."

"Oh my god, I didn't even think about that, I was just happy you were resting."

"It's okay, I'm gonna go take a bath and see if that helps."

"Sure, take some of your painkillers too."

I nod and wander into the bathroom.

Forty minutes later I'm done and feeling a little better. My muscles are still tight and uncomfortable, but the burning sensation and some of the swelling has gone down.

I put on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, along with a mask and my shoes.

I'm doing this store thing.

"Sykkuno?" I yell through the apartment.

"Yeah?" 

"Let's go!"

He pokes his head out of his room.

"You still want to do that?"

"I'm scared shitless, but yeah."

He disappears for a minute before returning fully dressed.

I feel surprisingly good as we go out to the car. I'm not nauseous even though there are butterflies in my stomach.

We drive in silence with only the sound of the radio making it feel comfortable.

Sykkuno pulls into a parking spot at our small, local grocery store and kills the engine.

"Still good?" He asks me vaguely.

"Y-yeah."

"Okay, let's do this."

We both get out and go into the store. I'm not shaking and I can hear just fine. My mind is definitely being overactive but not in a way that forces me to completely disassociate.

We do our shopping and Sykkuno talks to the cashier as she rings up our items. Thank god he's here cause this lady is chipper and would probably think I'm an asshole if I didn't have my friendly roommate with me.

I carry all the bags since we didn't buy too much stuff and Thomas pops the trunk so I can put it all in.

When we're both in the car I smile a little.

"Well?" My friend asks.

"I-um. I did it!" I say excitedly.

"Yeah you did!" 

"And it was fine! And you're nice! Thank you so much for doing this with me. I know I'm crazy and this was probably annoying but-"

"Hey, stop that. You're not crazy, you have legit mental problems and it's okay if you need help. Helping you isn't annoying and I'm happy to do it."

"Okay, well... thank you."

"You're welcome. Can I give you a hug?"

I nod shyly. I'm not much of one for physical contact but a hug sounds nice right now. We both lean over the center console and I wrap my arms around him, letting him hold me for awhile before we split apart.

"Let's go home and see if anyone wants to livestream," he suggests.

"That sounds fun."

1922 words :)


	16. Kitty

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none :)  
AN: I hope y'all like this cause I don't really know how I feel about it. Vote and comment plz!  
~Corpse pov~  
I'm sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, minding my own business and eating a sandwich, when I hear someone rattling the lock on the front door. A second later my roommate appears in the doorway with a girl in tow. She's short, probably a foot shorter than me, with shoulder length red hair and a petite build. I nearly fall off my stool, sudden fear gripping me at the thought of a stranger seeing my entire face.

"Hey Corpsy," Sykkuno chirps.

"H-hey, who's this?" I stammer.

"This is kitty, I've been telling you all about her recently, remember?"

I can vaguely recall a conversation about some girl he met at a bar a couple weeks ago. I didn't think they were serious enough that he would bring her around or anything.

"Um, yeah. Hi," I say awkwardly.

"Hi! Nice to meet you! Your voice is really cool." She replies.

Well at least she didn't recognize it.

"Thanks. I'll be in my room if you guys need anything," I say, excusing myself quickly.

I hide out in my room or my filming room all day which might be a little rude, but I'm so uncomfortable with strangers that I don't really care. 

Around dinner time I hear the front door open and close so I take a chance because I'm really hungry. I creep out to the kitchen and find it blessedly empty. 

I make myself some dinner and then go back to my filming room so I can eat while I stream. I don't know exactly how long passed before I was interrupted, but my food is gone and my fingers hurt from gaming for so long.

"Dude, why did you hide all day?" Sykkuno asks bluntly.

"Okay, I guess I deserve that," I sigh, taking off my headphones and spinning my chair around to face my roommate.

"I wondered if you just didn't like Kitty but you barely know her so that can't be it."

"No, no, I didn't hate her or anything. You just caught me off guard, did you ever think of warning me that you were bringing someone home?"

"Oh, shit," he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, I should have let you know. "

"It's okay."

"How about I bring her back tomorrow and you can be prepared? I really wanted you guys to hang out."

No no no no no, I don't want to hang out with anyone but you.

"That sounds good."

"Cool. See you in the morning," he chirps.

"See ya," I mutter after him.

I don't sleep a single wink because I'm worrying. I'm worried that Kitty knows me and will expose my face, that she won't like me, that I'll embarrass myself or Sykkuno on accident.

By the time nine a.m. rolls around I am sick and tired of being in my bed. I get up and go to the bathroom for a quick pee break and shower. When I go back to my room I choose a comfortable outfit but then I quickly change out my sweatpants for a pair of jeans. I have to make a good impression after yesterday.

When I hear a lady's voice I sigh and make my way out to find them.

"There he is!" Sykkuno says, motioning me over to the couch where the two are sitting.

"Hi," I say, awkwardly giving them a little wave.

"Come sit, we're gonna watch The Umbrella Academy," Kitty says.

I nod and sit next to her, which is my only option.

We watch the show and Thomas makes us popcorn even though it's lunchtime.

"Let me go grab my copies of the comic books, I'll be right back," Sykkuno says, going to his bedroom.

Kitty seems to wait until he's out of sight before she scoots a little closer to me.

"So, Corpse, how long have you and Thomas been roommates?"

"Um, three or four years now," I answer, a little uncomfortable with her close proximity.

"Cool... I always wished I could find someone decent to be my roommate. Of course every girl dreams of having someone sexy and strong like you looking out for them."

"S-sorry, what?" I stutter right as Thomas reappears and sits down next to the girl. She turns her attention to him and seems to completely forget what she had said.

That was weird, right? I'm not being antisocial or awkward or anything, it's inappropriate to say that to someone that you aren't dating.

"You okay Corpsy?" My friend chimes.

"Uh, y-yeah. Why?"

"I asked you if you have my copy of Hotel Oblivion and you didn't answer."

"Sorry, sorry, I don't think I have it."

"It's cool, it's probably in a box in the junk closet."

I nod and we continue watching the show.

Eventually Kitty has to leave so I'm finally free. I go straight to my room and get ready for bed, my exhaustion from last night finally hitting me. As I fall asleep I try not to ponder that weird moment with Kitty. I probably misheard her or something. I shouldn't overreact.

A few days later Sykkuno tells me that Kitty is coming over for dinner and that they're officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

"Is it okay if you cook tonight? You always make the best food," he asks me.

"Um, sure, that's fine. What do you want?"

"Whatever you want to make, you're the chef!"

"Alright, well I think we have everything for tacos, does that sound good?"

"That sounds delicious. Let me know if there's anything I can help with, okay?"

I nod and get up to double check ingredients. I'm pretty sure I have everything I need, so I go and livestream for a few hours before I need to start cooking.

At six o'clock I'm in the kitchen browning beef and shredding cheese. The tortillas will go in soon and I just need to chop up a few other toppings. I rummage around the fridge for salsa but come up empty handed.

"Thomas!" I shout across the apartment.

"Yeah?"

"Where's the salsa?"

"It was moldy so I tossed it!"

Damn.

"Will you run to the store and buy some?"

"Yeah!"

He takes off a few minutes later, telling me that Kit should be here anytime.

I'm focusing on seasoning the meat when there's a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in!" I yell, unable to leave the kitchen right now.  
  
Kitty lets herself in and comes over to stand beside me at the stove.

"Hey," she says, looking over my shoulder.

"Hey, um, Sykkuno went to the store but he should be back soon."

"Okay. I didn't know you can cook."

"Yeah, my grandma taught me how to a long time ago."

"Do you use a recipe?"

"No, she just taught me which seasonings to use in different meals and how to do most things from memory."

"That's so cool."

I nod and go to find a spoon to sample the meat. When I scoop some up from the pan Kitty does something weird, she closes her eyes and opens her mouth.

What?

I awkwardly feed the bite to her even though that wasn't my original intention.

"Oh my god! That's so good!"

"Um, thanks," I mumble.

I get another spoon and taste the meat myself. It is good although it could use a little more chili powder. 

Sometimes I go into my own world when I cook, which is the only reason why I don't notice Kitty getting closer to me until her hand lands on my ass. My eyes widen as she gropes me once and lets go, moving around to the other side of the counter to sit on a barstool. She pulls out her phone and continues to completely ignore me like nothing happened.

What. The. Fuck.

There's no misinterpreting that.

"Hey guys! Hey baby!" Sykkuno chimes as he comes through the front door. He hands me a jar of salsa and then goes around the to Kitty, pulling her in for a long, tongue filled kiss.

I don't know what the fuck to do. My friend is making out with a girl that has been hitting on me...

"Is the food ready?" He asks me when they're done eating each other.

"Yeah, I just have to get the shells out of the oven."

The three of us finish preparing the meal and then we sit at the table to eat.

"So Corpse, where do you work?" Kitty asks.

"I work from home for an online retailer," I lie. This has been my excuse for years so it slides right off my tongue.

"Working from home would drive me crazy! Don't you wish you went somewhere and got to hang out with coworkers?"

"I still get to talk to people a lot and it's nice to just stay home."

She nods and continues eating.

"Babe, you should tell him where you work, he'd think that's interesting," Thomas says with a smirk.

"Oh my god, baby! Don't! I'm just a bartender right now, but I'm taking night classes to be a dental assistant."

"Oh, cool. Do you like bartending?" I ask politely.

"In some ways. I get really good tips and I met Thomas, so those are perks."

The rest of our meal is filled with polite chitchat, mostly held between Sykkuno and Kitty because I'm trying not to spiral. 

She touched me. She didn't just touch my arm or my hand or my shoulder, she touched my ass!

I offer to clean up but the other two say that since I cooked they would help me. We carry all of the dishes to the countertop by the sink and Thomas starts rinsing them off and stacking them in the dishwasher. I begin putting lids on the condiments and scraping leftover produce into little containers. Since I'm standing right in front of another cabinet, I'm not surprised when Kitty reaches in front of me to put something away. In fact, I don't think much of it because I'm sure she won't try anything with her boyfriend two feet away from us.

Wrong.

Even thought she started out by just reaching in front of me she soon slides further until her ass is brushing the front of my pants. I try to tell myself that it's just an accident. She couldn't reach the shelf and she had to squeeze herself in front of me, but that idea is quickly thrown out the window when she pushes her ass directly into my crotch and wiggles it back and forth.

As much as I don't want to be turned on because this is basically sexual assault, by body has ideas of its own. I finally come to my senses and step back from her.

"I'm gonna go... um... finish up some work, you guys got this?" I ask quickly. They both tell me that they're fine and once again, the girl acts like nothing happened.

I quickly go to my room and shut the door before I begin pacing.

What the hell am I gonna do?

Eventually I just go to sleep, tired of obsessing over this situation. The depressing part is that I know the problem will still be there in the morning. A good night of sleep won't change the fact that my best friend's girl is coming on to me.

Of course I'm right, I wake up and immediately groan, wishing I didn't have to deal with this situation. Maybe it will just work itself out? Maybe something else will come between them and they'll break up without me ever saying a word. 

I reach over and feel around my side table until my fingertips come in contact with my phone. I turn on the screen and see a text from a random number.

Unknown: Hey :)

Corpse: Hey, whose this?"

It only takes a second before I get a reply.

Unknown: Kitty

No no no no. Shit!

Corpse: How'd you get my number?

Kitty: From Sykkuno.

I decide to not reply. It's better to stop this now before something weird happens.

I get out of bed and go out to the kitchen, pouring myself some cereal and sitting down. 

"Morning," Sykkuno says, still rubbing sleep from his eyes as he gets out a frying pan and the eggs.

"Morning," I mumble, not paying particularly close attention to him.

I'm scrolling through Instagram when a text notification pops up at the top of my screen.

I tap it and nearly choke on my cereal.

Kitty: Are you ever extra horny in the mornings?

Again, I don't answer. 

This goes on for days. I can't say exactly why I don't tell Thomas. Maybe cause I don't like to upset him. Maybe cause I'm embarrassed by all the stuff his girlfriend has been texting me. Maybe cause I'm scared he'll think I'm making it up and I'm just jealous or something. I guess it doesn't matter, the point is, I haven't told him.

About a week later they're making out on the couch when I go out to get a snack. Thankfully Sykkuno is the best friend ever and puts a quick stop to the PDA when he notices that I'm there.

"What's up Corpse?" He asks me.

"Not much, I'm just getting some food."

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," Kitty says.

She stands up and goes down the hall. I get what I need and then head back to my room. When I turn the corner into the hallway I'm slammed against the wall.

"What the fuck?" I say a little too loudly.

Kitty doesn't realize that I've brought attention to us and she presses her lips to my jaw. 

"You just drive me crazy every time I see you," she whispers.

"What the hell?" A new voice yells.

Kitty leaps away from me.

"Thomas! Babe! It's not what it looks like!"

I'm completely frozen and I can't make any words leave my mouth.

"Well then what is going on here?"

"Corpse, um, Corpse just kissed me! Out of nowhere!"

"N-no!" I finally choke out.

"I don't even know what to think. Can you both just please leave?" Sykkuno says, obvious frustration in his voice.

I hate seeing him upset but I know exactly what that looked like and he probably needs a minute to cool off.

I go to the front door and put on a pair of shoes and a mask before opening the front door. Kitty comes up behind me and we both leave. I slam the door behind me and spin around to face her.

"What the fuck, Kitty?"

"What?"

"You've been pulling this bullshit on me for weeks! Why the fuck would you keep pretending to be into Sykkuno if you're actually just interested in harassing me?"

"I haven't been harassing you! You've been into it too!"

"In what fucking way?"

"You were... you know, aroused... that one night in the kitchen."

"No! No I fucking wasn't! You need to fuck off and never come back around here."

"Fine! You know what? You're both just assholes! Sykkuno is a nerd with no moves in bed and you're just this agoraphobic freak!" She spits cruelly before marching away.

At first I'm pissed, pacing up and down the hall to calm myself. After a few minutes I begin to get hurt by what she said. Yeah, she's dumb, but she's right. I'm such a freak.

*ding*

I pull my phone out of my pocket with some difficulty and open the text that just arrived.

Sykkuno: Will you come back?

I get up and go back in the front door.

"Wow, that was fast," he says.

"I was right outside."

He nods and looks down at his feet.

"You didn't kiss her, did you?" He finally asks.

"N-no, of course not. I wouldn't do that to you."

"I know. I-I think she's been cheating on me. You know she works in a bar and when I go there some guys treat her really... strangely and she's all flirty. I thought she was just making tips but... I guess not."

"I'm so sorry dude, she started hitting on me awhile back and doing weird stuff, but I didn't want to seem jealous or make you mad or anything."

"What kind of stuff did she do?" He asks quietly.

I hesitate because it's embarrassing, but he deserves to know.

"She um, she started by just saying I was sexy and little comments like that, but then she started touching me and kinda groping me a couple times."

"Shit," he breathes.

"Yeah, and then she got my phone number from you and she started texting me really inappropriate things and flirting with me all the time."

"I'm sorry she did that Corpse, I really had no idea."

"It's okay. I'm fine."

We stand there in silence for a minute before I chuckle.

"What?" He asks.

"She was just a real bitch."

He smiles.

"She really was, wasn't she?"

"Do you wanna go egg her house?"

"We shouldn't..."

I wait and see various emotions rolling over his face.

"But yeah, let's go," he says eventually.

"Fuck yeah."

2856 words :)


	17. Softy

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none  
AN: This is a super short one but once I came up with the idea I knew I had to do it. Don't forget to vote and comment :)  
~Sykkuno pov~  
"Yo Sykkuno?" Jack says over his mic.

"Yeah?"

"Can Corpse play with us? We need one more player."

"Let me check," I say, pulling out my phone to text him cause I'm too lazy to yell or go into his room.

Sykkuno: Can you play Among Us rn?

A few minutes pass and I don't hear anything from him.

I abandon my chair with a sigh, where is he? 

I look in the living room and kitchen first, the bathroom door is open so he isn't in there.

The only places left are his filming room and his bedroom.

I peek into his filming room first and find it empty, so I knock on his bedroom door.

"Come in!" He shouts, a little louder than necessary if I might add.

When I open the door I see him propped up against his headboard in a nest of blankets. He has headphones in and he's focusing intently on something.

I walk over slowly and peer over the blankets to see what he's doing.

"Are you knitting?" I ask with obvious confusion laced in my voice.

He takes out his headphones but continues to focus on the yarn wrapped around his fingers and the needles he's holding.

"What?"

"I just asked if you're knitting?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Um, since when?"

"I don't know, I pick it up every once in awhile."

I stand in awkward silence before he glances up at me.

"Why are you staring at me like that? Do you need something?"

"Uh, yeah I was wondering if you could stream but it's obvious that you're busy."

"Yeah, a little bit."

I snort and go to leave.

"Oh my god, can't a guy knit in peace?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry," I say, trying to suppress my amusement. "What are you making?"

"A scarf."

"Cool. Well I guess I better get back to my game."

"Mmkay, have fun."

He starts counting stitches or something so I go back to my room.

"Sorry guys, Corpse can't play."

"Aw, why?" Rae asks.

"He's busy crafting."

Everyone laughs and scoffs, thinking I'm joking.

I'm not gonna say more than that because I don't want to embarrass my friend, but I couldn't keep it entirely to myself.

If only everyone knew that the scary, faceless, emo streamer is actually a cat loving, scarf knitting softy.

391 words


	18. Peppermint Tea

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Panic attack  
AN: This is a request for @Milana0304 :) I hope you like it!  
~corpse pov~  
I can do this. I can go to one party with all my friends.

I couldn't believe it when Rae told me that they were planning this youtuber party that would only have people who have seen my face. Pretty much meaning it's specifically planned for me.

No pressure.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Sykkuno asks, looking away from the road for a minute to check on me.

"Y-yeah," I say before clearing my throat nervously.

"Really? Cause you haven't stopped tapping your foot since we left home."

I immediately stop the movement but then feel all the anxiety building up inside of me, so I start chewing my nails instead.

"I know, I know. Yes, I'm fine."

"Okay, cool. We're really close."

The party is gonna be at Jack's house which is also freaking me out cause I've never been there before. I like going to places that I'm familiar with so that I won't embarrass myself. I'd rather hold it than ask where the bathroom is somewhere. I'd rather go starving or die of thirst than ask for food and water or even have to eat in front of people. What if I have food on my face or in my teeth and I don't know?

I absentmindedly tear off more of my nail than I meant to while I'm lost in my thoughts and it starts bleeding. 

Before I know it we're pulling up to a nice little house. It's modern and in one of those neighborhoods where all of them look exactly the same except for the paint colors.

"Let's do this," Thomas says, opening his door and stepping out of the car.

I put a mask on and pull my hood up before getting out. I trust everyone that is gonna be here today, but I'm scared that I'll accidentally be in the back of a picture or something. Better safe than sorry.

We go up to the front door and Sykkuno knocks before stepping back. A minute later Poki lets us in the house with a squeal.

"Oh my god! Hi guys!" She says excitedly as she hugs us.

"Hi Poki," Sykkuno chimes.

"Hey," I add.

"Come on, everyone's in the kitchen."

We follow her through the house until the voices get louder and more people come into sight. I glance around and see Jack, Pewds, and Toast talking and drinking beers while Mark, Rae, and Poki are serving food.

"You guys made it! What's up Corpsy?" Jack shouts, coming over to bro hug us.

It's not really his fault, but the sudden contact leaves my heart pounding. Everyone is chit chatting and eating and having a nice time so I try to calm down and enjoy myself. 

"Not much. I like your house," I say.

"Thanks," he chuckles.

I like your house? I like your fucking house? What kind of a compliment is that? I could have just said it was nice to see him or I could have kept my fucking mouth shut.

I sit on a bar stool and Jack gets me a coke before going back to his conversation with the other guys. 

I just study the cold can because I can't drink it without taking off my mask. I'm fine, I'm good, no problem here.

It only takes a couple minutes for me to realize that I am definitely not good. My heart rate starts picking up again as I get more and more upset with myself. Why can I never just enjoy something? This is the perfect time for me to hang out with these people that I only ever talk to online and I should feel completely calm and just have fun, but no. Here I am, sitting alone.   
They probably don't like me. They probably think I'm such a freak cause usually I'm fun and yet I can't fucking function in real life. 

I realize that I'm wheezing and unable to take in the amount of air I need so I get up from my seat and quickly walk down a random hallway. The bathroom is on my right so I duck inside and lock the door behind me. I slide down the wall and sit on the floor with my head in my hands.

Why did I even come? My stomach is rolling as I dig myself deeper into this panic attack. I know that I make a complete fool of myself in public. I can't handle interaction like this I'm so fucking stupid for thinking I could do this. They're not even gonna want to be my friends after today.

"Corpse?" A voice says outside the door.

I don't know how long I've been in here but it hasn't been too long.

"Yeah?" 

"We're gonna play Munchkin, wanna join?"

I'm not totally sure who's voice that is, but I think it might be Toast.

"Sure, one minute."

I get up and go to the sink. I take off my mask and try to get a few deep breaths before I have to put it back on. I rinse my sweaty hands and give myself a quick pep talk before going back out and joining the party again. I am determined not to ruin everyone else's time because I'm having a fucking panic attack.

Everyone is sitting at the dining room table and they're dealing cards. I eyeball the door to the back porch that's just a few feet away from all of them and I wish desperately that I could go outside and get some fresh air, but that would let everyone know that I'm unwell. I sit in between Rae and Pewds even though I also wish I could have snagged an end seat so that I don't feel so trapped. Because I do, I feel trapped. My mask is making me feel suffocated and now I'm surrounded by people and I need to act normal but I can't breath.

I can't breath.

I can't fucking breath.

My stomach rolls and I feel bile try to force it's way up my throat. I swallow it down and clench my hands into fists. This can't be happening to me.

"Corpse, you okay?" Someone asks.

I look up and see my roommate giving me a worried look.

I open my mouth to reply but I'm so nauseous that I have to close it for fear of puking. I suddenly push my chair back and stand up, holding my stomach and squeezing my eyes closed.

"Woah, are you sick?" Another voice questions.

"Come on you can lay down," a guy offers, taking my arm.

That's what does it. When I get really panicky I don't like sudden physical contact. I rip my arm away and rush out the back door. I fly across the deck and out into the grass before I take off my mask and vomit. My stomach clenches and my anxiety still won't stop so I kneel down. I gag again right as someone comes up beside me.

I look to the side and see Thomas. Of course it's Thomas, he's always here when I need him.

"Here, sit down and sip this," he says, squatting beside me with a bottle of water.

I sit down in the prickly grass and take the bottle with a trembling hand.

"Thanks," I murmur before chugging half the bottle.

"Are you sick?"

I shake my head, not being able to make eye contact with my friend.

I've ruined everything.

I glance over my shoulder and see everyone standing on the deck or right inside the door, looking at me with worried expressions. When they see me glance at them they all pretend to be having conversations with each other, but I know they were staring. I would be too if I was them.

"Why didn't you tell me you were having a panic attack?"

"I didn't want to ruin the party," I say quietly.

"You wouldn't have. I don't like it when you try to handle them alone."

"I know... I just-" I'm cut off when my voice cracks. "I just didn't want everybody to hate me," I admit.

He frowns at me.

"They're not going to hate you. Come on, I'll prove it."

He takes my hand and makes me stand up with him.

"What n-no! I can't go back in there!"

"Yes, you can," he insists.

He drags me behind him up to the door and everyone steps aside so that we can come in.

"Are you okay?" Mark asks.

"Yeah, I'm just... I was having..." I look down, ashamed that I still deal with this even though I'm a grown ass man. "I had a panic attack."

"Are you okay now?" Rae asks.

"I'm a little better."

"Sorry for touching you, I didn't know..." Jack says, trailing off.

"It's totally cool man. Just an accident."

He nods and looks relieved.

"Come on, I'll help you get cleaned up." Poki offers.

She gently takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom. She gets a washcloth and wets it down before wiping the sweat and lord knows what else off of my face. 

"Can I take down your hood?" 

I nod. She moves it and lays the washcloth on my neck. The cool rag instantly makes me feel more calm.

"Take deep breaths, it'll help," she murmurs soothingly.

I feel comfortable enough the I rest for a minute and do as Poki instructed me. It doesn't take long for my body to begin relaxing and releasing tension. I feel tired, but much less anxious.

Jack comes into the room and hands me a toothbrush.

"Here, I thought you might want to brush your teeth."

"Thanks."

"No problem. We're setting up a movie, do you have any requests?"

"No, you guys can play your game. I'm okay-"

"Stop, we're all gonna hang out and watch a movie together. It's gonna be fun, end of story." He says, interrupting me.

"Fine, someone else can choose what we watch."

"I guess Rae wins with her request for Sweeney Todd."

I laugh and nod.

"Okay, I think you're all set. Do you need anything else? Like a drink or a snack?" Poki asks.

"I'm okay. Thank you so much," I say earnestly as I stand up. 

I pull my friend into a tight hug and she returns it. 

"Anytime," she squeaks when we pull away.

When we join everyone else in the living room Sykkuno pats the spot beside him on the couch.

"You want any guacamole?" Toast asks, holding a bowl and a bag of chips out to me.

"No thanks."

Jack hands me a mug of steaming liquid.

"It's peppermint tea. For your stomach."

"Thank you."

Everyone gets settled in and Rae rests her head on my shoulder as the movie starts.

It's been a really long time since I've had a full blown panic attack away from home, probably cause I rarely leave home. But this just goes to show how much my anxiety blows things out of proportion. Here I am, surrounded by people that just watched me have a panic attack, and everything is fine. I didn't ruin anything, nobody hates me, and I'm okay.

It doesn't make me a lot more eager to spend time in public, but it makes me sure of one thing. I've got some fucking amazing friends.

1895 words :)


	19. Brunch

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of depression.  
AN: Don't forget to vote and comment!Reading your thoughts really makes me smile :)  
~Corpse pov~  
"Hey, are you alive in there?" 

My eyes open but they feel dry and my room is bright so I shut them again.

"Hmm?" I grumble.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

The door swings open and I roll over so that I can see Thomas as he steps in.

"What's up?" I croak, my voice even deeper than usual from sleep.

I readjust my blankets and fluff up the pillow under my head before letting my eyes drift shut again.

"You've been in bed for twenty-four hours, so I thought I should check on you."

I sit up and look at the clock but it only confuses me cause I don't know what day it is.

"Oh, yeah. I'm good."

"Corpse..." he sighs, sitting on the edge of my bed. "I know you haven't been eating which probably means you haven't been taking your medication. I don't mean to sound like your mother or something but it worries me when you do this."

I rub my face as the guilt sets in. My brain hasn't really given me a choice about all this sleep, I just woke up really depressed... yesterday... I guess, and couldn't get up.

"It's not like I'm sabotaging myself on purpose or something. I just didn't feel well yesterday. Plus, I have been out of bed, I went to the bathroom a few times," I point out.

"That doesn't count."

I know that he's right. I should get up and at least eat something, but it seems like an insurmountable task right now.

"I'm alive and I'll be fine, I just need some more sleep," I say, pulling the covers up over my arms.

"Come on, just come out and eat with Rae and I."

"Rae is here?"

"Yeah, remember? She wanted to have Sunday brunch with us?"

I vaguely remember making those plans and I feel bad that I'm fucking them up with my stupid drama.

"Okay, I'll be out in a minute."

"Thank you," he says with a small smile. "But do me a favor?"

"What?" I grumble, annoyed by his neediness. I know it's for my own good but I'm too exhausted for it.

"Take a fast shower? You smell," he says, adding a fake gag before getting off the bed.

"Fuck off."

If I was only hanging out with Sykkuno I might not shower just to spite him, but I want to be presentable for Rae. 

When I stand up from my bed I have to put a hand on the wall to steady myself cause my vision goes black. I'm guessing it's just from dehydration so I make a mental note to drink plenty with my food. 

I pop my head out into the living room and give Rae a quick wave before I go to the bathroom for a shower. I avoid the mirror when I undress cause I just feel uncomfortable with myself today. I'm irritated by the aching pain in my muscles from a recent fibromyalgia flair. It always gets worse when I don't take care of myself. So much self hatred flows through me when I start considering how much I've neglected myself lately that I eventually just force it out of my mind and get on with the task at hand.

A few minutes later I'm dressed in comfortable, baggy clothes and my hair is air drying into it's natural curls.

"Well hey there, sleepyhead," Rae teases when I join them on the couch.

"Hey, sorry about oversleeping."

"It's okay, I hear you needed it. Are you feeling okay?"

Most of my friends know a little bit about my various conditions but I'm not sure what she thinks is wrong with me right now. I usually keep my mental shit on the down low.

"I'm fine," I say vaguely, not wanting to get into it and drag down the mood.

"Well I'm hungry, how about you guys?" Thomas chirps, standing up.

We all agree to work on food and head to the kitchen. I begin making bacon and scrambled eggs while Sykkuno fries the French toast and Rae chops up fruit and pours juice.

"Do you guys have an apron I could borrow?" Rae asks.

I look at the blueberries she's chopping and the white t-shirt she's got on under a sweater. Those would definitely stain if she's not careful.

"I think I do, in the towel drawer," I say, pointing in the general direction.

When she pulls it out she bursts into giggles. 

"You have an Among Us apron?"

"Yeah, is there something wrong with that? A fan sent it to me!" I say, faking a defensive tone.

The apron is fucking ridiculous. It's black with an Italian flag colored crew mate in a chefs hat, holding a plate of pasta. In big letters it says "impasta".

"No no no, don't get all butt hurt. I love it," she says, patting me on the back before she goes back to her fruit slicing job.

Our banter makes me smile and I realize that maybe this was all a ruse to get me out of my funk. Which, if it was, I'm grateful because... well... who likes being depressed?

When the food is ready we spread it all out on the table and sit down together.

"So, you really can't do the credit card swipe, huh?" Rae chuckles.

"I can't fucking do it! Everyone was convinced I was the imposter because of that shit but really I'm just dumb!" I laugh.

"You've just gotta do it the right speed," Thomas adds, always the voice of reason.

"That's easy for you to say, you just bop around and do everything so perfectly that nobody ever suspects you." I grumble, pretending to be mad at him.

"Have you guys played that new game, Gang Beasts?" Rae asks as she shoves a piece of bacon in her mouth.

"Dude! I've really been wanting to! Do you have it?" I ask excitedly.

"Hell yes I do! You'll have to come over this week and play. It's the funniest game ever created."

"Is it true that there's an old lady character?" Thomas questions, scooping more fruit from the bowl and adding it to his plate.

"Yeah, it's really creepy to play her though because it's this little, old, floppy lady just climbing shit and beating people up."

"That sounds like my kind of game," I laugh.

It feels really good to joke and around and talk to my friends, not to mention how good the food is. I don't really get hungry when I'm depressed but having a full stomach makes me feel much better.

When Sykkuno is done eating he gets up and goes to the bathroom before coming back with a couple of prescription bottles. 

"Here, please take them," he says as he sets them in front of me.

I sigh and pour some more orange juice to take them with. I shake out one of them that's for depression and anxiety and the other thats for my fibromyalgia pain.

"I might as well take the third," I say in between my drinks as I swallow the tablets.

He nods and goes to retrieve the one for my acid reflux.

"Thank you," he says sincerely.

I just nod and then turn back to Rae. She's very smart so I'm sure she has picked up on what's going on with me today, but I don't want to talk about it so I quickly change the subject.

"What days are you free this week? I'll come over and play video games with you and we can get pizza."

"That sounds awesome, how about Tuesday evening?"

Since I have absolutely nothing on my schedule, per usual, I agree and we set up a time I can come over. 

"Alrighty boys, I've gotta head out," she says awhile later, pushing her chair back from the table. "Sorry for leaving before helping with the dishes but I promised Poki I would be around this afternoon."

"That's okay, we'll take care of it," Thomas reassures her. He's such a good host.

We all get up and walk to the door, Rae slips on her shoes and takes her purse from the hook, slinging it over her shoulder.

"Thank you for having me, this was so much fun," she chimes as she hugs Thomas.

"Anytime," he replies.

She comes over to me next and holds out her arms. I don't love hugs but Rae always insists that a little human contact won't hurt me, so I accept it and step into her embrace. 

"Please take care of yourself, okay?" She says quietly as she pulls away.

I nod.

"Promise?"

"I promise," I say with an eye roll because I'm a stubborn ass.

"Okay, I'll see you on Tuesday."

"Cool, see ya," I say awkwardly. I'm not good with goodbyes.

Once she's gone, Sykkuno and I begin gathering the dishes and taking them to the sink.

"I'll wash and you dry?" He asks. 

"Yep."

We get a good rhythm going and after working in silence for awhile I finally decide to speak up.

"Thank you," I say quietly.

"For what?"

"For making me get up and have fun this morning."

He smiles at me and then looks back down at the plate he's washing.

"You're welcome."

"Sometimes I need that. The depression is part of it but other times I just need a distraction."

"I know, that's what I'm here for."

That makes me laugh a little. 

"Well you're really good at it."

"I know."

He can be such a shit head... but I still love him.

1604 words


	20. Nurse Jack

TRIGGER WARNINGS: This is a sick fic, so if vomiting or anything bothers you then please don't read!  
AN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLIAN!!! Eliza0978 reached out to me and said that their sister has been reading my work for a long time and that it's her birthday! So here's your gift from them, I hope you like it and have/had a wonderful birthday!!❤️❤️  
~Corpse pov~  
"Let's get this sleepover started!" Jack yells, plopping down on the couch next to me.

"Dude, we have neighbors," I groan, worried we're gonna get another noise complaint because of him.

"Yeah yeah, you have neighbors and they hate me. Stop beating a dead horse."

I laugh and Sykkuno comes in with bowls of popcorn. He hands one to Jack and one to me, keeping the third for himself.

"I didn't know if anyone wanted seasoning or m&ms so I left them in the kitchen. Help yourselves," he chirps.

"Dude, I live here, you don't have to go all "perfect host" on me," I tease.

He rolls his eyes.

Despite being excited that Jack is here to stay over with us, my stomach has been killing me all day. It's not uncommon that I eat something that doesn't agree with me and I get a stomachache, but tonight I feel nauseous too.

It's literally my worst nightmare that I'll get sick when we have company, so my anxiety has also been fucking me up. As long as I just sit here, I'm okay, but I definitely can't eat.

I get up and take my bowl with me to the kitchen, pretending to get candy or something, but really I just leave my full bowl on the counter. I get a glass of water and slip back in to join the boys. They probably won't even notice what I did.

We turn on Edward Scissorhands, which is one of my favorite movies, but as the night goes on I feel worse and worse. My stomach is really bothering me and I feel so nauseous that I can't even drink water. On top of that I'm now physically shaking from anxiety. My heart is pounding and my palms are all sweaty.

What if I really am sick and I ruin everyone's night? They've been looking forward to this for awhile now and I don't want Jack to leave because of me. I'll just keep it a secret. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

"I'm going to get candy," Jack says partway through the movie, getting up and disappearing into the kitchen.

When he appears again he's holding a bowl and a bag of m&ms.

"Corpse?" He asks as he sits down.

"Hmm?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

My heart speeds up.

"Y-yeah. Why?"

"I just found your popcorn in the kitchen and it doesn't look like you ate any of it."

Sykkuno pauses the movie and looks over at me with a concerned expression.

"Yeah, and you barely ate your dinner," he adds.

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

"I'm fine. My stomach has just been hurting a little."

"Oh, well here, popcorn shouldn't make it worse. Maybe eating will help," Jack suggests, handing me the bowl.

"Okay, thanks," I say, trying not to let the dread I'm feeling show in my voice.

I swear to god, they both watch me as I take a piece of popcorn and put it in my mouth. I force myself to chew and turn my attention back to the tv like nothing is wrong, when on the inside I feel like I'm about to be sick. My mouth is salivating more than usual and a little bile is trying to force its way up my throat. I swallow hard, forcing the food down and try to stay calm.

I manage to get a few pieces down while they're still paying attention to me and then slide the rest under the couch and out of sight so that they don't think about it again.

Around midnight we all decide to go to bed so that we aren't exhausted in the morning. Sykkuno gives Jack a pillow and some blankets so he can crash on the couch and then we go to our rooms. As soon as the door is shut behind me I peel off my sweaty shirt, also slipping out of my pants cause I'm way too warm, and collapse in my bed.

Even though I pass out immediately, my sleep isn't peaceful. I toss and turn, having nightmare after nightmare until I finally shoot awake. The sick feeling in my abdomen is so awful that I literally double over and I know right then that I'm gonna be sick.

I nearly fall out of bed and scramble to the bathroom, not having time to lock the door behind me before I hunch over the toilet and puke. My stomach heaves and the acid burns my already raw throat as it forces it's way up.

I don't even realize someone has come in the room until they rest their hand on my upper back. I look over quickly, startled by the sudden contact, and find Jack kneeling next to me.

"I'm fine, you can go to sleep," I say quietly, still trying to even out my breathing.

"I couldn't sleep anyways," he says softly.

I nod, not having it in me to argue with him.

My stomach twists again and I gag, leaning over to be sick again. Jack rubs my back soothingly and tries to keep my wild curls out of my face.

When I finally seem to be done, he helps me stand up and go over to the sink. I brush teeth and splash water on my face, trying not to panic since that will only make the situation worse.

"Let's go out to the couch and I'll get you a drink," he suggests, holding onto my elbow.

I nod and he waits until I'm safely sitting before he leaves me. I rest my head back and try to ignore how gross I feel.

"Here," he says quietly, holding out a cup to me.

I take it in my trembling hand and sip it, scared that putting anything in my stomach will make me sick again. I put the glass on the coffee table and then rest my head back again, letting my eyes fall shut. Jack sits beside me and pats his lap. We have some sort of weird connection right now because I know exactly what he's motioning for me to do. I reposition and lay down, resting my head on his legs, feeling comfortable for the first time all night. He runs his fingers through my hair and over my scalp, helping me to stay calm and drift off to sleep.

I'm not sure how long I rest but when my eyes flutter open I feel that familiar clenching in my stomach.

"I'm gonna throw up," I groan.

Jack helps me up and we go back to the restroom. I lower myself to kneel again and bend over, gagging before I puke.

My friend stays by me the whole time, never seeming grossed out or tired. He's the only thing stopping me from having an anxiety attack.

"Are you done?" He questions.

"I don't know," I whimper.

"Okay, here, just rest against my shoulder," he suggests.

I sit beside him, letting my back rest against the wall and my head fall onto his shoulder.

"You're the best," I say, maybe a little delirious from being so sick and from lack of sleep. It doesn't matter, because he is the best.

I feel him chuckle more than I hear it as I close my eyes again.

"Hey," I hear. Someone shakes my shoulder. "Corpse."

"Hmm?"

"Let's get you to your bed, I think you're done puking."

I don't even really register standing up and going to my room. The next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed and I feel way better. My stomach is definitely not back to it's normal self, but I no longer feel feverish and I must have slept for awhile cause I feel well rested.

I get up and see a glass of water on my bedside table. No doubt Jack left it for me last night.. or early this morning. Whenever it was.

I go out to the living room and see Jack passed out on the couch. I smile, knowing that he must be exhausted.

I go over to him and add another blanket over his arms and shoulders, trying to be sure he's comfortable.

His eyes flutter open.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you," I murmur.

"It's okay, how are you feeling?"

"Better, now go back to sleep."

"Mmkay," he agrees, immediately drifting back off.

I go to the kitchen and find Sykkuno making coffee.

"Were you up in the night? I thought I heard voices," he asks.

"Yeah, I was sick."

"Oh no, are you okay now? Do you want to go back to bed?"

"I feel a lot better. Jack stayed up and looked after me."

"Aww, nurse Jack!" Thomas coos.

I laugh a little.

"He was a surprisingly good nurse. He even gave you a run for your money," I say teasingly.

"What? No! I'm the best nurse!" 

"He sat with me on the bathroom floor."

"Dang. That is really good."

When Jack wakes up we all decide to have breakfast together before he leaves. I eat a bowl of oatmeal and piece of dry toast, trying to go easy on my stomach, and the other boys have omelettes.

"So, Jack," Sykkuno says as we all sit down.

"Yeah?"

"I hear that you took care of Corpsy last night."

"Oh, yeah. He was pretty sick."

"Well just so you know, that's usually my job and I don't appreciate you stealing my patient," he says, faking a stern tone.

"Is this because he said I did a better job that you?"

I laugh cause he totally just gave away the fact he was eavesdropping when he was supposedly asleep.

"I said that cause it's true," I add under my breathe.

Sykkuno sighs, pretending to be exasperated, and Jack cracks up.

"I guess I'll just have to call you every time I'm sick," I say, winking at Jack.

"Oh god, please don't do that. I'm sure Sykkuno does a fine job!" He pleads.

"Nope, you were better."

Now it's Sykkuno's turn to laugh.

I shake my head and focus on my food.

"Really though, thanks for helping me," I say sincerely.

"No problem man. I'm glad you're okay."

1704 words :)


	21. Decaf

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none :)  
AN: Credit for the story idea goes to Milana0304 I hope y'all enjoy, please vote and comment! :p  
~Sykkuno pov~  
I look up from my phone just in time to watch Corpse's chin slip off of his hand, causing him to nearly face plant into his cereal. His eyes fly open and he gasps before sitting up straight.

"Dude, that's the third time you've nearly fallen asleep this morning, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. I just haven't been sleeping well."

I nod in understanding. My friend has a laundry list of reasons that he can't sleep. Sometimes it's achy muscles from fibromyalgia, sometimes it's anxiety, sometimes it's good old fashion insomnia. Obviously I don't know what it is this time, but it seems to be really taking a toll on him.

"Well we're supposed to be going over to Poki's for movie night, are you sure you don't want to stay home and get to bed at a good time?"

It's so fleeting that I almost wonder if I made it up, but I'm pretty sure a flash of fear passes over his features. 

"No, I definitely want to come with you, I'll be fine."

"Okay, as long as you're sure."

He nods quickly.

We both end up on an "Among Us" stream that afternoon and I can't help but notice the constant yawns coming from Corpse anytime his mic isn't muted. I don't think I've ever seen him get this tired before. Usually he'll have one or two bad nights of sleep and then pass out for twenty four hours to make up for it. 

"Alright, Corpse and I have to go," I say eventually, knowing I want to stop for coffee before going to Poki's.

"I'll see you guys in a bit!" She says excitedly over her mic.

A few minutes later Corpse and I are headed across town. Usually when we go places he nervously fiddles with the radio or his fingers or does some other nervous habit, but today he's calm. He's got a mask on and his hood pulled up as he rests his head against the window, looking out at the rain.

I don't bother him, knowing he's tired, and we travel in silence. He eventually speaks up when I pull into the parking lot of our favorite little coffee place.

"I'll take a large black coffee," he says, digging in his wallet and pulling out money for me.

"Okay."

I go inside and get my drink and one large black coffee... only I order it decaf. For some reason Corpse is trying not to sleep, I don't know if it's cause he wants to be fun at Poki's or if it's something else, but I can't let him drink a ton of caffeine. He needs rest.

I was worried he might notice somehow that his coffee is decaf, but he doesn't. We sip our drinks and bring them with us as we walk up to Poki's apartment.

"My favorite boys!" She squeals, flinging the door open. She jumps up and down and pulls us into hugs.

"Hi Poki," I chuckle, giving her a quick squeeze before letting go.

"Hey," Corpse says, obviously made uncomfortable by the hug Poki forced him into. Sometimes she's too caring for her own good.

"Come in, come in! I've got Charlie and the Chocolate Factory pulled up on Netflix but if you want to watch something else we totally can and I've got candy and popcorn and ice cream and pop and-"

"That sounds great," Corpse laughs, cutting her off.

We all sit on the couch with the coffee table heaped high with snacks in front of us. After chit chatting for awhile we start the movie and Poki turns off the lights. We aren't even fifteen minutes in when I look over and find Corpse dozing off.

"Why's he so tired?" Poki whispers. She's sitting right next to me and Corpse is past her, so we shouldn't bother him.

"I don't know, he told me this morning that he hasn't been sleeping well but I've never seen him this tired before." Right as the words leave my mouth Corpse shoots upright and his eyes fly open.

He rests a hand on his chest and seems to be breathing hard.

"Are you okay?" I ask, springing forward.

"What? Oh uh, yeah, I'm good."

"We didn't mean to bother you, Sykkuno says you need sleep," Poki squeaks, resting her hand on his shoulder.

"I-I don't need sleep, I'm fine," he grumbles, shifting out of her grip and sitting back.

She looks a little hurt but I give her a reassuring smile and we all go back to watching the movie.

I can practically feel the concern rolling off of Corpse. He hates hurting people's feelings and if he ever does he gets convinced that they hate him.

"Poki?" He says quietly.

"Yeah?" She replies.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"It's okay, I understand."

"It's probably just cause you're exhausted and on edge," I mention.

He sighs.

"You guys, I-I'm scared to sleep," he stutters.

"Why?" Poki asks, taking his hand in hers.

He looks down at their hands and I think I see him squeeze hers a bit.

"I've been having nightmares," he admits.

"Aww, you poor thing," Poki coos.

"I know it's dumb and childish, but they seem really real and it's been wearing on me."

"I bet, what can we do to help?" I inquire, just wanting my friend to get the rest he needs.

"I don't know-" he starts.

"Oh!" Poki says, cutting him off. "Sorry, I've got the perfect thing!"

She rushes from the room and Corpse and I make eye contact, silently communicating the fact the we love her but she's a little crazy.

She comes back lugging a gray blanket in both her arms.

"I already sleep with blankets Poki, but thanks," he says nicely.

"No, idiot, it's a weighted blanket! It's exactly for this kind of thing! It's gonna make you feel all safe and calm."

He looks a little unsure but when Poki motions for him to lie down, he does as she says. She covers him with the blanket, struggling since I guess it's heavy.

"Wow, that feels nice," Corpse sighs.

"Get some sleep," she chirps.

She sits in a chair nearer the tv and the two of us continue watching the movie. It doesn't take long for Corpse to fall asleep and when Poki and I get tired she says we can just stay the night.

The next morning as I wander out of the guest bedroom I see Corpse sitting on the couch, still under the blanket, playing on his phone.

"Morning," I croak, plopping down beside him.

"Morning," he mumbles.

"When did you wake up?"

"Around eight."

"Did you have any nightmares?"

"No, thank god."

"So you got twelve hours of sleep?"

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to steal this blanket from Poki."

"Corpse!" I laugh. "We could just buy you one of your own."

Right then our friend appears in her bedroom door. Her hair is wild and she's still in her pastel pink pajamas, but she smiling.

"You won't have to steal or buy anything, you can just have it," she giggles.

"No, I couldn't just take it, I was joking," Corpse says.

"Honestly, someone gave it to me as a gift and I never use it. You'll obviously get more good out of it."

"Okay... well thank you," he says, accepting the nice gesture.

"No problem. Who wants pancakes?"

"Ooo, me!" I shout, hopping up to help her.

"Can we make chocolate chip ones?" Corpse asks, fallowing behind us.

"Pfft," she scoffs, "you thought I would make a batch of pancakes and not add chocolate to some of them? You're crazy."

We all laugh and she starts getting out ingredients. This is so fun even though it wasn't really planned. That's the nice thing about having a slightly hyper friend, they've always got your back, even when other people wouldn't.

1325 words :)


	22. Help

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Depression, anxiety, self harm, self hatred, mention of suicide.  
AN: I hope y'all like this, vote and comment plz!  
~corpse pov~  
I am unbelievably frustrated with everything. From the second I woke up this morning and found my vision blurry, probably caused by my fibromyalgia, I've been pissed. It immediately made me feel worthless and depressed so I know I'm not getting out of bed today, much less working on stuff for my channel.

My phone chirps and I know it's Sykkuno. He's pretty much the only person that texts me and he usually asks if I'm okay if I stay in bed too long. I don't bother to check the message though because I know trying to use my blurry vision will just make me more upset.

I squeeze my eyes closed and clench my jaw as frustration courses through my veins. My eyes fill with tears and I don't stop them from leaking out. My whole body shakes from sobs and I have no hope of stopping them.

It seems like every time I start getting my shit together and plan a day for recording or reading stories or editing, that something sets me back. I wake up depressed, I have to go somewhere and I end up have panic attacks all day, I'm too sore to leave bed, or I can't fucking see. It's fucking bullshit! Not only does my brain betray me and try to destroy my productivity but my body does too! If I'm not careful about putting out new content then I'll miss my little bit of the spotlight without having really done shit with it. Everyone will forget about me, I'll go back to being poor and sick, and Sykkuno will leave me. I might as well off myself if that happens. 

I didn't even realize that I was dragging my fingernails up my thigh until I get out of my head for a moment and feel the burning pain. I lift my hand out from under the covers and see blood smeared on the ends of my fingertips. Maybe I can't see great, but I can see that much. Fucking great. Just what I needed.

There's a knock at my door which I've actually been expecting. With all of my health problems, mental and physical, Thomas doesn't leave me alone for too long if I don't reply to his texts.

"Corpse? You okay?" He asks through the door.

I clear my throat and wipe the tears off my face with the backs of my hands. There's no hope of hiding my breakdown, I'm still hiccuping and my pale skin gets really red when I cry.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," I choke out, trying to sound normal.

"Are you sure? Can I come in?"

"Yeah," I sigh.

He cracks open the door and his expression softens as soon as he sees me. I must look so goddamn pitiful laying in my bed, crying over my failing health and career.

"What's wrong?" He inquires, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"M-my vision is blurry this morning."

"Oh, that's from fibromyalgia, right?"

I nod, forcing myself to sit up. I'm sure my curly hair is absolutely gross and wild, but I can't bring myself to care very much.

"I was gonna record a couple stories today but I can't see well enough to use the recording program or to read the stories," I explain.

"Well, that sucks, but maybe it's just a sign that you were supposed to rest today?"

I let out a harsh laugh and look down into my lap, playing with my fingers.

"If I rest every fucking day then I won't have a job anymore," I snap.

He just nods and stands up.

"I'm sorry," I sigh.

"It's o- is that blood?" He says, cutting himself off abruptly.

I glance at my hand and see the crimson liquid still drying on my fingers.

"I kinda scratched myself," I admit with a cringe.

"I'll get the first aid kit," he says quietly, disappearing into the hallway.

I push down the covers and expose the wounds on my thigh. I was just sleeping in boxers and Sykkuno has seen me like this a million times, so I don't feel embarrassed or exposed or anything.

He comes back in a couple minutes later and silently sits on my bed, pursing his lips when he sees the scrapes trailing over my skin.

"Please say something," I whisper.

He sighs, taking an alcoholic wipe out of the little package and wiping it over the scratches. I flinch and suck in a sharp breath at the pain.

"Sorry," He apologizes. "I just- I know that you're going through a lot. I know that there's a lot of pressure on you and that you have these health problems, but I don't understand why you don't let me help you."

"I do," I say quickly. "You're helping me right now."

"After you mauled your own leg. If you let me know sooner that you were upset maybe we could have avoided this," he says.

He takes some ointment and gently smears it over the wounds before getting out a giant bandage.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I don't want to make you feel worse, I just want you to promise to try harder. You don't have to text me or even explain what's going on, you could just yell for me and I'll be there for you."

He is making me feel worse and painfully guilty, but it's not his fault. He makes a good point.

"I promise, I'll try harder," I say earnestly as he finishes smoothing the bandage on me.

"Thank you. You're all set, wanna eat breakfast with me?"

I'm not hungry but I can't crush his spirit and I know I probably should eat.

"Sure, can I have french toast?"

"Yeah."

I get up and make myself presentable, brushing my teeth and throwing on clothes before joining Thomas in the kitchen.

"How are your eyes?" He chirps as I sit at the breakfast bar.

"They're not bad until I try to focus on something."

"Hopefully they'll be better soon."

I nod.

"In the meantime you could always make other stuff. People love you no matter what you're talking about," he suggests as he pours himself a glass of juice.

"You mean I could just make an onlyfans account and start making porn?"

He chokes on his drink and I crack up.

"No! That's not what I meant!" He sputters.

"But I don't need good eyesight for that," I point out.

"You are not making porn. Here, take this food and stop talking," he says, pushing a plate towards me and blushing like crazy.

I chuckle and begin shoveling eggs into my mouth.

After awhile Sykkuno sits down too.

"Do you think I could just make a horror podcast or like, series of videos?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" He mumbles around a bite of bread.

"Like, since I can't read stories or questions or anything, what if I talked about horror movies, books, theories, stories, and you know, all that stuff?"

"Well it would be a solid theme, are you sure you know enough about it for an entire series?"

I snort.

"Um yeah, I could talk about horror shit all day every day."

"It's sounds like you've got a plan then."

"And um... would you help me with setting up the audio software?" 

He grins at me.

"I would love to."

1230 words :)


	23. What the Hell

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none!  
AN: this is kinda a second part to the other "texting while grocery shopping" one I did. I think it was called fml but don't quote me on that. Plz vote and comment :p  
Sykkuno: E-girls is playing on the radio!

Corpse: NO FUCKING WAY, what station?

Sykkuno: Idk, a XM radio one.

Corpse: That's so cool.

Sykkuno: I'm waiting for our grocery order and I'm bored as heck!

Corpse: Maybe cussing would spice up your life?

Sykkuno: No, I don't think it would.

Corpse: Try it. You're bored as fuck.

Sykkuno: I'm really freaking bored... I just can't.

Corpse: You're lame.

Sykkuno: I just watched a really cute girl come out of the store.

Corpse: Is she wearing a collar?

Sykkuno: Are you asking if she's a cat girl?

Corpse: ...maybe.

Sykkuno: She's not. Omg one of her bags just broke! 

Corpse: GO HELP HER!

Sykkuno: brb

Corpse: I'll wait. Get your girl.

...

Sykkuno: I'm back and I got her number!!

Corpse: Good job dude. Damn, I'm even a good wingman over text!

Sykkuno: Very humble too.

Corpse: You know it.

Sykkuno: Even her car is cute.

Corpse: That's kinda creepy.

Sykkuno: Sorry. 

Corpse: Do you think she would fly out for the dick?

Sykkuno: STAHP!

Corpse: lol

Sykkuno: Dude, this grocery order is taking forever and they said it would be ready twenty minutes ago!

Corpse: Go inside and check on it.

Sykkuno: But Covid...

Corpse: Wear a mask and be fast, I need my lucky charms.

Sykkuno: Ugh, fine. 

Corpse: This is way better than grocery shopping myself. I just order you to get me things and you bring them home!

Sykkuno: Now I'm waiting inside while like five employees rush around and get my stuff.

Corpse: Oof, that sounds rough.

Sykkuno: You're telling me. They just offered me a complimentary lollipop while I wait... because I'm obviously five years old.

Corpse: Sassy Sykkuno, did you accept the lollipop?

Sykkuno: ...

Corpse: Of course you did.

Sykkuno: Okay, I've finally got our stuff.

Corpse: SCORE! Get home ASAP.

Sykkuno: I have a confession.

Corpse: What? Shouldn't you be driving towards me? Don't text and drive.

Sykkuno: I cursed...

Corpse: TELL ME MORE

Sykkuno: I said "what the hell" when I went in and they didn't have my stuff ready.

Corpse: That was anticlimactic.

Sykkuno: I feel bad! I don't like being rude to people.

Corpse: "Hell" doesn't count as rude or cussing.

Sykkuno: Well I feel bad.

Corpse: Me too.

Sykkuno: Why?

Corpse: Cause I'm not eating Lucky Charms right now.

Sykkuno: omw 

394 words :)


	24. Vodka

TRIGGER WARNINGS: anxiety, vomiting  
AN: This is probably the last "anxious corpse" fic im gonna do for awhile cause I've got other ideas for him, but Eliza0978 waited very patiently for their request and I figured I should do it. Hope you like it, comment and vote plz.  
~corpse pov~  
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? The guys wouldn't mind if I hung around," Sykkuno offers for the millionth time today.

"Dude, I told you, I'm good, it's just Jack and Mark."

"Okay, as long as you're-"

"I'm sure!"

"Alright, sorry."

"I'll be back in the morning, don't get attacked by bats or something while I'm gone."

"Yeah yeah, have a good time."

I grab my overnight bag which consists of a bottle of vodka, a sweatshirt, and a toothbrush. Just what everyone needs for a collaboration.

I put on my mask and hood before giving Thomas a little wave and heading out to my car. I'm basically a nervous wreck the whole drive. It's the perfect storm of things I'm scared of, being away from the safety of my home, being in public (only while I driving but still), making YouTube content, and being around other people. I really like Jack and Mark but I haven't spent much time with them when it's not a group or online.

By the time I'm knocking on Jack's door I'm nearly having a panic attack, visions of the last time I was here are completely bombarding me. It was for a party and I did have a panic attack that day, complete with hyperventilation and puking... not my fondest memory.

"Corpsy!" Jack says as soon as he opens the door. "Come in, come in! Mark is already in the filming room."

"Hey man, cool," I say, not knowing if I should take off my mask and shoes or not.

"Come on, we've got work to do!"

I nod and hang my bag on a set of hooks right by the door then take off my mask and shove it in my pocket. I don't want to seem rude.

"Mark, look who I found," Jack chirps as we enter the filming room.

Mark smiles and gives me a little wave.

"What's up, Corpse?"

"Not much, sorry if I'm late, looks like you guys already got started."

"Nah, we were working on something else." Mark assured me. "So pitch us your idea, a narrated horror video game, right?"

"Yeah, yeah I was picturing that you guys could play that new game that just came out, with the old lady and the house? And as you go along I could narrate it, but obviously you guys couldn't talk and I'd be winging the story."

"That sounds sick, let's set up!" Jack says enthusiastically.

We work all afternoon, trying games and seeing what stories I can come up with. It's actually really fun and my nerves melt as we all get more comfortable together.

"Alright, I've gotta have a break and some food," Mark says once the sun has finally set.

"Someone set up a movie in the living room, I'll order Chinese food," Jack chirps.

Mark gets up and I follow behind him since he seems to know where we're going. 

"I brought vodka," I say randomly, just now remembering it.

"Hell yeah, go grab it!" He cheers.

I get it from my bag and rummage through the kitchen for a mixer and a few cups. All I can find is lemonade in the fridge but it will work for anyone who doesn't want their booze straight. I stopped drinking for the taste a long time ago so it doesn't matter to me.

We watch the movie for awhile and have a couple drinks before the food finally arrives. We laugh and joke around, eating and drinking together and just having a good time. We even brainstorm a few more videos we could make together even though I'm sure we'll realize that they're awful ideas when we sober up.

"Okay, okay, what about..." Jack starts, leaving a dramatic pause before telling us his idea. "We make Corpse do a stream where he can only sing everything he wants to say!" He slurs, laughing at his own idea.

"Yeah! And he has to sing all of his own songs randomly just... I don't know... every time he kills someone!" Mark adds.

I roll my eyes and pour myself more straight vodka. The others don't realize that's what I've been drinking and I think that's probably good, they won't realize how trashed I'm getting.

Awhile later Jack goes to bed and Mark calls an Uber, needing to get home for some reason. I sprawl out on the couch and drink a bit more before eventually passing out, glad that the alcohol has calmed my nerves.

I guess I spoke too soon...

I wake up in the night and find my stomach rolling. Anxiety and vodka are not a good combination. 

"No no no," I mutter to myself, clenching my fists and trying to calm down.

As soon as I realize I'm gonna puke I nearly cry. If I get sick then Jack is gonna wake up and he's gonna be worried and then I'll be bothering him and then he'll hate me and never invite me over again! I mean, he already helped me that one time I got sick when he was staying with me and Thomas, he shouldn't have to deal with it again. Not to mention the fact that this is alcohol induced therefore, my own damn fault.

I don't want to be sick on his carpet to I get up and go to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door before I kneel on the cold tiles in front of the toilet. My stomach rolls again and I gag before emptying a lot of liquid from my stomach. God, it was basically straight booze coming back up. I try to be quiet but there's only so much I can do to hide the retching.

My heart is pounding and tears roll down my face when I finally finish, for now that is. I need to calm down since this definitely won't help my stomach, but I'm digging myself deeper and deeper into panic. Tears roll down my face as I sit back in the floor and pull my knees to my chest.

"So fucking stupid," I whisper to myself. 

"Corpse?" I hear through the door.

Fuck.

"Y-yeah?" I say roughly, my voice even lower than usual because of the burning in my throat.

"You okay?"

"Yep, all good," I lie, getting up and wiping my face.

"Are you sure? I thought I heard someone throwing up."

I ignore him and wash my hands and my face, trying to pull myself together even though I'm still struggling to breathe normal.

When I open the door Jack is standing in the hall with a worried expression on his face.

"Drink too much?" He asks knowingly.

I nod a little, shame creeping up my spine.

"Come on," he says gently, taking my shoulder and leading me to the couch.

I lay down and he sits at the end, letting my feet rest in his lap.

"You know that you don't need to be all jittery when you're around me, right? I won't bite."

I try to smile but feel my eyes fill with tears.

"I know, it's just... it's just me, Jack, I can't help it."

"Is that why you got so drunk tonight, or last night, or whatever? I've got no fucking clue what time it is."

"Yeah, I knew it would keep me relaxed."

"You could have just told me you were nervous, you don't need to drink until you puke."

"I'll keep that in mind. Oh-" I sit up and hold my stomach, a familiar sensation telling me that I'm gonna vomit again.

"Back to the bathroom," Jack says following behind me.

I'm embarrassed as I throw up and make all kinds of gross noises, but Jack doesn't seem phased.

"This seems a little familiar, doesn't it?" He says when we're both sat on the floor, waiting to see if I'm safe to leave or not.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"No problem."

1327 words :)


	25. Skye

TRIGGER WARNINGS: lowkey anxiety  
AN: I don't feel like this is very good but I hope you like it :p plz vote and comment~  
~corpse pov~  
"Please don't be mad," my roommate says from the couch where he's sprawled out.

"What did you do, Sykkuno?" I ask from the kitchen.

"Nothing! I swear! I just need you to pick something up from the library."

I can't decide what's more irritating, that he put something on hold knowing I would be the one to go get it, or that he's only telling me now that it's done.

"Ugh, why? Why can't you go?"

"I told you that my throat is sore, I don't want to go anywhere in case I'm getting sick. That's rude."

I roll my eyes at him.

"What am I even picking up?"

"A movie, you just ask for it at the desk and the librarian will have it ready."

"What the fuck? You can't just watch one of the thousands of movies on Netflix?"

"I wanted to see Coraline and it's not streaming anywhere!"

I can't argue with this, Coraline is a hella good movie.

"But I've never even been in our library," I sigh, deflating at the thought of doing something new.

"It will be so fast and easy, I promise. I wouldn't ask you to do it if you couldn't handle it."

I search for any reason I can't do it, but we both know I can.

"Ugh, fine," I grumble.

"You're the best!"

"Yeah yeah yeah."

Fifteen minutes later I'm on my way to the library. We live close to it and it's a mild winter day, so I decided to walk. I breathe in the fresh air through my mask, enjoying the bite of chill and the smell of crisp leaves. I drop my hood down and let the breeze tousle my curly hair, letting my ears get cold while I enjoy nature.

I start sizing up the library when I'm a block away. It's a boring building with an ugly sign outside of it advertising all kinds of reading programs and book clubs. There's not many cars in the parking lot, but it's late so that's not surprising. 

I wind up the front sidewalk and tug open the door, letting the smell of cleaning products and books fill my nose. There's no one at the front desk so I wander further inside. It's exactly what you expect from a public library, complete with bright furniture in the children's section, a wall of movies, and of course book cases lining ever wall and filling every area. 

"Oh, hello!" Someone says behind me.

I start a little and turn around. There's an older lady with glasses and big hair behind the desk now.

"Hi."

"Children's books are down that way," she motions behind me. "Movies are to your right and adult books are upstairs."

"Thank you," I say, trying to be friendly because she seems nice and it's not her fault I'm an introvert.

Even though I'm just here to pick something up I climb the stairs, wanting to see the adult section before I leave. I like reading, maybe I can find a book to check out.

I walk through the tall wooden shelves of books. New ones with bright covers catch my attention but there's something intriguing about the old ones too. They're ornate and the pages are thin and yellowed, the classics show the wear of being read countless times. Up here it's completely quiet, only the sound of the furnace softly whirring and the smell of books is stronger, not cut with the stench of antibacterial wipes that came from the kid's section.

I turn a corner and nearly jump out of my skin when I come face to face with a girl, almost bumping into her and making her drop a stack of books.

"Fuck!" She shrieks, slapping a hand over her chest.

My heart is racing as I bend down to pick up her things.

"I'm sorry! A-are you okay?" I stutter.

Her eyes widen as she looks at me but then she nods and crouches down.

"No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have cursed. I'm fine."

She helps me stack up the books, the nice, fruity scent of her perfume meeting my nose.

We stand up and I subtly check her out while she makes sure we got all the books. She's tall, probably close to six foot, and really skinny, with brown hair down to her shoulders and part of it pulled back on top. Her smile is beautiful when she looks back up at me.

"Sorry again," she says.

"Me too."

She gives me a little wave and walks away. My heart still hasn't calmed down from the initial jump scare, but I don't think being in proximity to someone so pretty helped me calm down either. 

I look around a little longer but since I don't know how they organize their books I never find anything I'm interested in. I go back down to the front desk, admiring the sunset through their massive windows and quickly realizing that I'm gonna freeze my ass off on the way home if I don't get out of here soon.

When I approach the front desk I'm surprised to see the girl I scared sitting at a computer. 

"How can I help you?" She chirps, looking away from whatever she was working on.

"My friend has something on hold."

"Okay, let me look."

I give her his last name and she sifts through brown paper bags on a long counter behind her before returning with one. Thomas' last name is scrawled on it and she hands it to me with a toothy smile.

"Here you go."

"Thanks, I was um-"

She nods attentively.

"I was wondering if I could get a library card?"

"Absolutely!"

She pulls open a drawer and slides an index card across to me with little markings to tell me what info they need. I take a pen out of a nearby mug and begin filling it out while she types away on the computer.

"Here you go."

"Thank you."

She enters my info and then scans a card and hands it to me.

"You're all set!"

"Awesome."

She tells me where things are and gives me a brief explanation of a few programs they're having soon, but I think we both know I'm not too interested in those. 

"And if you ever need help finding something you can ask a clerk, or me, my name is Skye."

Skye suits her perfectly.

"I'm Randy," I say, holding out a hand to her.

"I know, I made your card," she teases, shaking my hand. Her skin is cold and her fingers are long. I'm surprised to see that her nails are painted black, I didn't think that was a thing librarians usually do.

"Thank you for all your help, Skye."

"Anytime, have a good one."

I have a sudden burst of confidence and wink at her before I turn and exit the building swiftly. Oh fuck, why did I do that? She probably thinks I'm such an asshole!

I was right, it's fucking freezing out but I'm too distracted my embarrassment to really care, or maybe the blush in my face keeps me warm.

I rush in the apartment as soon as I can, happy Sykkuno always turns the furnace way up when he's home.

"That took you forever!" He whines, still laying on the couch where I left him.

"Fuck off."

"Give me my movie!" He groans, making grabby hands at me.

"What do you say?"

"Ugh, please."

I hand him the bag and when he pulls the case out my card falls to the floor.

"What's that?" He asks, picking it up. "You got a library card?"

"Yeah," I mumble, hanging up my keys and kicking off my shoes.

"Why?"

"I don't know," I shrug.

He hands the card to me and we both curl up under blankets to watch Coraline together. I think he can tell that my thoughts are elsewhere, even though I love this movie, but I can't stop thinking about the library and Skye. It's been a long time since I found a public place that I actually enjoyed visiting, and I'm hung up on Skye for obvious reasons.

I liked that she cursed when I ran into her, I liked her smile, her willowy limbs, how nice and helpful she was. I decide here and now that I've got to go back and see her again.

I give it a couple days before I nonchalantly ask Sykkuno if he needs me to return Coraline for him. He shrugs and says I can if I want, and then I take off for the library.

I'm disappointed when I arrive and see that it's not Skye at the front desk. It's another middle age lady, but not the same one as the last time I was here either. I return the movie in the correct slot and then go upstairs, ignoring the way the clerk was glaring at me. 

Today I try to make sense of the sections and after reading a few signs and I finally figure out which shelves are fiction. I scan over them, walking through the stacks to see if anything catches my eye. I read the inside flap of a few and then carefully put them back when their plots don't catch my attention.

When I turn down the isle with "Fiction R-S" I'm surprised to find Skye sitting on the floor. She looks up at me and smiles.

"Hi, Randy."

"Hey, why are you sitting on the floor?"

She laughs and it's a funny laugh, kind of airy and loud.

"We decided that we should put stickers on all the hard cover romances and somehow I landed with the job."

"Oh, that sounds... tedious?"

"Yeah, but everyone knows that I read romance so I'm able to identify them easily."

I nod, noticing how cute it is that she's sitting cross legged.

I make a snap decision and sit down next to her, resting my back on the book case, which is not comfortable at all.

"What's up?" She asks, putting a red sticker with hearts on the spine of a book.

"I don't want to go downstairs and get glared at by the lady at the front desk yet."

She rolls her eyes and laughs.

"That's Meredith, she's a bitch."

I snort.

"No really, she's perfectly nice to everyone except people with tattoos or piercings... or people who wear all black I guess."

"I must look like a hoodlum."

"Just don't take it personally, she doesn't like me either," she says with a grin.

"Why?"

Skye has a couple sets of piercings in her earlobes but I don't see anything else that should make her a target for disapproving old women.

She twists her neck and shows me that in the other ear she has a cartilage piercing and a ring through the back of her ear.

"And I have a few tattoos, it's just too cold to show them right now."

"Hm, well, I guess we could start a club," I joke.

"Yep, a club for hoodlums."

She peels another sticker off the sheet and places it on the spine of a book.

"So you can just tell which ones are romances from looking at them?"

"I know all the big romance authors," she shrugs.

"That's... kinda impressive."

"Thanks. The shirtless guys on front also give it away."

"Touché."

She continues her job and I get to my feet, not wanting to be a nuisance.

"I guess I'll see you later?"

"Sounds good, it was nice seeing you," she says with a smile.

I give her a small wave and make my way downstairs, hoping to avoid bitchy Meredith.

When I get home Sykkuno is standing right inside the front door with a skeptical look on his face.

"Jesus! You scared me!" I exclaim. Who the fuck stands inside the door like that?

"Tell me why you got a library card."

"You're acting like a psycho."

I take my coat off and hang it on a hook along with my mask.

"Come on Corpse," he whines, dropping the tough act. "You never go anywhere and then all of a sudden you're offering to go to the library? That's weird! I want to know why!"

I manage to get past him and go to the kitchen, opening the fridge for a snack.

"It's nothing, I just like how quiet it is."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Nope."

"Not even... the pretty librarian?"

I sigh and shut the fridge, turning to face him.

"If you knew about Skye then why were you grilling me?"

"Her name is Skye?"

"Yeah," I mumble, blush inching into my cheeks.

"How the did you learn her name so fast?"

"She just introduced herself."

"Huh, she never told me her name." 

I go to the cupboard and get out a package of pop tarts, tearing it open and sitting on the counter to eat them raw. I mean, they're not raw I guess, just now toasted.

"Do you... like her?"

"She's pretty but I don't think we'd make a good couple, she scares me."

I can't help but laugh.

"She scares you? Why? She can't way more than like... I don't know, not a lot."

"But she's so tall and so pretty! It's like being in the presence of an elf."

I don't even try to figure out that logic.

"Well she doesn't scare me and I really like her..."

"You should ask her out."

"I know, I'm just worried about actually going on a date with her."

"I know, but you should still do it. I bet you'd have a great time."

I nod and continue eating.

I should ask her out and I know it. I bet she would say yes, we've been flirty already, but there's that little nagging part of my brain telling me that she's probably say no. I mean... I'm just me... I guess there's only one way to find out.

A couple days later I get up my courage and psych myself up the entire way to the library. My limbs are buzzing with nerves and my stomach feels like it's full of butterflies so I take deep breaths to calm myself.

I get to the building, pull the door open, step inside, and there she is. She's at the copier helping some old guy, so I go over to the movies, pretending to browse their collection.

Minutes pass and she's still helping the guy. From what I can hear from their conversation he's being weird and flirty and she's just being polite enough to keep him happy. Customer service jobs must fucking suck.

Eventually I go upstairs, deciding to kill some time and talk to Skye later. I'm still jittery with nerves so even though I'm looking through the shelves of books I'm not really paying attention to what I'm seeing, my brain is just a spinning mess or worry. I once read that overthinking is just constantly worrying about something and problem solving is when you think it through to come up with a plan. I definitely do the former...

"Hey," someone says next to me.

I turn and find Skye smiling at me while she scans the shelf for a book, pulling one down a second later.

"Hello," I chime, stuffing my hands in my pockets to hide how sweaty they are.

"Are you looking for anything in particular?" 

"Oh, no, I actually came in to see you," I admit, a blush creeping up my cheeks.

She blushes too and looks down.

"Why?"

At this exact moment I want to abort this mission, run away as fast as I can, and possibly move to Canada. Instead I swallow the nervous lump in my throat that's making me queasy and just tell her the truth.

"I-I think you're really pretty and I was wondering if you'd want to go out with me?"

A little smile plays on her lips while her whole face gets redder than before.

"Yeah, I'd like that," she says with a nod.

Relief floods me and I breathe easier.

"Awesome, can I get your number?"

I pull out my phone and open a new contact before handing it to her. She takes it, types for a few seconds, and then hands it back.

"Thanks, talk soon?" I ask.

"I'd like that."

She has to get back to work and I go back to pretending to look at books for a second. As soon as she's out of sight I pull out my phone and stare at the new contact.

Skye xoxo


	26. Run Screaming

TRIGGER WARNINGS: depression, mild self harm  
AN: I hope y'all like this! Plz vote and comment!  
~corpse pov~  
"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry," I apologize into the phone.

"It's okay, I didn't call to make you feel bad," Skye says on the other end of the line.

She called to ask if I wanted to go out with her tomorrow night and I said no. This past week I have said no to dinner with Skye, a street fair with Skye, and a movie night with Skye. 

"I feel terrible, I promise we'll hang out next week."

"Okay, I'm looking forward to it," she chirps. 

I love how supportive she is even though I'm sure she's freaking out about my lack of enthusiasm. What she doesn't know is that I desperately want to go out, but I've been depressed as fuck all week. 

We've only been on four dates so I haven't broached the subject of my mental health. I mean, what am I supposed to say, "did I mention that I have crippling bipolar disorder and an entire myriad of other fucked up shit going on in my head?" She would literally run screaming.

Every time I turn her down I just feel worse and worse. My muscles are too tired to lift me out of bed but I can't sleep either, I just lay here dwelling on what a piece of shit I am. I can't hold a steady relationship, I can't work, I can't even shower anymore.

The pit inside my chest deepens as I consider how everyone would take the news if I was found dead. Is this a morbid and sick thing to think about? Yep. Do I do it anyways? Yep.

I honestly have no idea how long I stay in bed, alone with my thoughts, but at some point Sykkuno knocks and then pokes his head in the room.

"Corpse?" He whispers loudly.

"Hmm?"

"Skye was just here but I told her you were sleeping and she left."

"Thanks," I murmur.

"You doing okay?"

"Yeah."

He leaves and I roll my eyes at myself. 

"So fucking stupid," I mutter angrily, punching the mattress beside me.

I don't usually cry but right now I can feel the tears building in my throat and the stinging in my eyes. The first drops of salty liquid drip down my cheeks and I sob, thinking of how much I like Skye. I think of her laugh, her smile, her long legs, and even about the way she keeps offering to do things this week. I think she really liked me. Not anymore, probably. 

I wipe my tears away and scratch down my arm, digging my nails in deep enough to really hurt. I deserve it for fucking up this relationship. I deserve it for not being able to fake being okay, for not being able to slap on a smile and make my girl happy. 

I finally pass out but I'm woken awhile later by my phone ringing. I rub my eyes and feel around the blankets until I locate it, pressing the green button to answer.

"Hello?" I mumble groggily.

"Randy?"

"Oh, Skye," I say, sitting up and clearing my throat. "Hey."

"Hi. You probably think I'm so annoying for calling again."

"What? No, I like that you call."

"Okay, I just thought maybe you were ghosting me."

I sigh. I see how it could come off that way.

"I haven't been, I promise."

"So... what is going on? Like, I totally understand being busy but-"

"I haven't been busy," I say, knowing that I just have to come clean. "I-I'm bipolar."

My face goes hot and I feel sweat bloom on my palms. She knows now. I prepare myself for her to politely let me go and then never call me again.

"Oh, that must be hard."

"It is, I guess."

She's quiet and I'm quiet until she finally speaks again.

"I know this isn't the same at all, but I've been diagnosed with high functioning depression."

"Really?" I say, completely shocked. This tall, majestic human has a mental illness?

"Yeah, sorry, that was a dumb thing to say," she blurts out.

"No, no no no. That makes me feel better."

"Oh, okay."

"It's just that I hope you understand why I've been staying home this week and maybe you don't think I'm total shit."

I fight back a yawn and lay down again, letting my eyes droop shut. I picture Skye laying here next to me as we talk.

"No, I get it. Sometimes you don't have enough energy for extra activities or people."

"Exactly," I agree, shocked at how easily we're talking about this. "And some people think you're just lazy."

"So annoying," she sighs.

"Hey, I know you were just here, but maybe you'd like to hang out? We could watch Netflix."

"Are you asking me to Netflix and chill right now?" She asks, sounding completely serious and I can't tell if she's messing with me over the phone.

"N-no!" I stammer, only to hear her laughing. "Fuck off," I laugh, rolling my eyes at myself for falling for that.

"Sorry, sorry, I'll be over in twenty."

"See you then."

"Bye."

"Bye."

With the minimal energy my brain is allowing me I take a shower and put on fresh sweats and a t-shirt. I know I should change the sheets on the bed since I've basically been living in them for a week but they're calling to me and I can't resist any longer. I crawl back into the comfort of my blankets and wait for Skye.

I hear Sykkuno talking to someone and laughing right before there's a light knock on my door.

"Come in."

It swings open and Skye steps in, looking gorgeous as ever. In fact, she makes me feel like a real slob.

"Hi," she says with a smile. There's no pity in her expression, which makes me happy.

"Hey, we can go out to the couch," I offer, beginning to sit up.

"I'm fine with laying in here as long as you are," she shrugs.

"Sure."

I think I might be blushing at the thought of other things we could do in my bed. I take a deep breath and push those fantasies away since I haven't even kissed Skye yet.

She shuts the door behind her and kicks off her shoes, lining them up neatly before crawling on the mattress and laying down next to me.

"What are we gonna watch?" She asks.

"Whatever you want."

"Arrested Development?"

"Hell yes, good choice."

She grins and shuffles closer to me before pulling the blankets up over her. She's wearing leggings and a black thermal shirt today so she obviously dressed for lounging. That's not saying she doesn't look cute, especially with her messy bun and glasses. Hey...

"I didn't know you wear glasses," I mention as I pull up the show on my tv.

"Yeah, I'm basically blind without them."

"So you usually wear contacts?"

"No, I usually stumble around bumping into things, but at least my glasses aren't messing up my outfit," she says sarcastically.

I can't help but laugh.

"Got it."

I start a random episode of the show and Skye finally touches me. Her ankle brushes against my foot and then her legs tangle with mine as she curls into my side. I wrap an arm around her and she sighs, seeming content. This is by far the most we've ever touched and I quickly notice that her skin is soft under my fingers. Her hand slips under my t-shirt and she rests it on the skin of my stomach as she glances up at me.

"Is this okay?" She whispers.

"Yeah."

It's more than okay.

We lay like that for a long time, watching shows and cuddling. I feel wanted for the first time in a long time because Skye could be off doing anything with anyone, and she's choosing to be here with me.

"Randy?" She chirps after another episode ends.

"Hmm?"

"You smell really nice."

I smile at this random comment.

"That's cause I showered right before you came."

"It was totally worth the effort."

"I don't know about that."

"How long- I mean, when do you usually- uh," she stammers, trying not to offend me by bringing up my disorder.

"It's okay," I chuckle. "It varies a lot. Sometimes I'm down for a couple days and other times it's a couple of weeks."

She nods.

"How about you?" I inquire, wanting to know more about her depression.

"Oh, mine is totally different, I'm fine."

"Tell me about it."

She gets a little tense but I rub my palm up and down her side, attempting to help her relax again.

"Well, when I have low moods I lose interest in everything, like reading and painting, even food seems unimportant. I sleep a lot and have a lot of negative thoughts, but I can push through, you know? Even if I don't enjoy anything or if I'm not really myself, I can get out of bed and go to work."

"That doesn't mean you have to brush it off, you know? It's not a competition."

"I know, I totally know that, I didn't want you to think I was being dramatic or something when mine isn't even that bad."

"I'd never think that."

She smiles.

"Thank you."

I hug her closer and we focus on the show again. I don't realize that she's sleeping until I hear a soft snore. It's the cutest god damn thing I've ever heard. I let her rest while I gently stroke her arm, trying to imagine what it would feel like to lay next to her every night. I think it would feel good.

She squirms and her eyes flutter open.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep," she says with a yawn. Her glasses are crooked on her face and she reaches up to fix them with one of her long fingers.

"It's okay, you're cute when you sleep."

She grins and I can't help but to look at her lips. They look soft and plump, making me want to kiss her. My gaze flicks up to hers but she's looking rapidly between my lips and my eyes.

"I really want to kiss you," I whisper.

"Okay," she breathes.

We close the very short distance between us and press our lips together firmly. We melt together with closed eyes and enjoy the way we feel together. I was right, her lips are soft and her breathe is sweet. We move together slowly before she pulls away for a breath.

She's smiling at me when my eyelids flutter open and I can't help but smile back. She pushes the covers down and climbs on top of me, straddling my hips and leaning down to kiss me again. This time our mouths move faster and I sneak my tongue past her lips, causing a cute little moan to leave her throat. My hands rest on her waist and we make out until our lips are too sore to continue.

She rolls off of me and giggles. I can't help the smile that forces it's way onto my face.

"I could get used to that," she sighs, snuggling into my side again.

"Me too," I mumble, pressing my fingers to my lips.

Me too.


End file.
